This is my Collection of daily mails by Friends of Lord Krishna (FOLK)
HARD WORK
Why is a highly posted government officer given better facilities for a comfortable life than an ordinary clerk? The answer is very simple: the important officer has to discharge duties of a more responsible nature than those of an ordinary clerk. Similarly, the human being has to discharge higher duties than the animals, who are always busy with filling their hungry stomachs. But by the laws of nature, the modern animalistic standard of civilization has only increased the problems of filling the stomach. When we approach some of these polished animals for spiritual life, they say that they only want to work for the satisfaction of their stomachs and that there is no necessity of inquiring about the Godhead. Yet despite their eagerness to work hard, there is always the question of unemployment and so many other impediments incurred by the laws of nature. Despite this, they still denounce the necessity of acknowledging the Godhead.
We are given this human form of life not just to work hard like the swine or dog, but to attain the highest perfection of life. If we do not want that perfection, then we will have to work very hard, for we will be forced to by the laws of nature. In the closing days of Kali-yuga (this present age) men will have to work hard like asses for only a scrap of bread. This process has already begun, and every year the necessity for harder work for lesser wages will increase. Yet human beings are not meant to work hard like animals, and if a man fails to discharge his duties as a human being, he is forced to transmigrate to the lower species of life by the laws of nature.
Ask yourself - What have I contributed to this problem?
Many people rarely, if ever, ask this critical question. Instead, they automatically assume that any problem they are having must be someone else’s fault. If there is a disagreement or argument, it’s the other person’s fault. If something went wrong, someone else made a mistake.
It simply never occurs to many people that something is their fault. Or, at the very least, that they may be partly responsible. On the surface, it might seem nice to believe that you’re never to blame. The problem, however, with this “never blame me” philosophy is that you’ll rarely be able to pinpoint the one aspect of problem solving that is truly solvable: your own contribution. Once you eliminate the fear associated with admitting that you are, at times, responsible for the parts of your life that aren’t working – minor annoyances and larger problems – you open a whole new door of possibilities.
Once you’re willing to accept responsibility for the problems in your life, you will see obvious solutions that take very minor adjustments to change.
Obviously, I’m not suggesting that everything is your fault, or that you should spend an exorbitant amount of time and energy thinking about your faults and drawbacks. To do so would be a different type of negative habit. It’s critical, however, that you’re honest about your contribution to your problems. Don’t bury your head in the sand. If you truly want to excel in your life, you must be willing to look in the mirror and, with humility and honesty, reflect on your contributions to what’s not going right in your life. That way, you can do something about it.
WE MUST BE THANKFUL FOR...
We must be thankful for the offer and willingness to help, not the outcome
We must be thankful for the challenges, not just the successes
We must be thankful for our trials and tribulations, not just our glorious victories
We must be thankful to God for the money we might have today that we didn't have yesterday, and let go of the fact that we did not get the thousand we wanted
We must be thankful to God for the meal we had today, and not dwell on the one we might have dreamed of
We must be thankful to God for the service we have now, and let go of the fact that we did not get the service we wanted or wished we had
We must be thankful to God for that friends that are with us and support us
We must be thankful to God for everything!
Recognising God
We cannot accept anyone as an avatara unless he has the symptoms described in the scriptures. Nowadays it has become a fashion that any man can come and say that he is God or an incarnation of God, and some accept it: "Oh, he is God." We do not accept an avatara like that. We take evidence from the Vedas. An avatara must conform to descriptions in the Vedas. Then we accept him; otherwise no. For each avatara there is a description in the Vedas: He will appear at such and such a place, in such and such a form, and He will act like this. That is the nature of Vedic evidence.
In the Srimad-Bhagavatam there is a list of the avataras, and there is mention of Lord Buddha's name. This Srimad-Bhagavatam was written five thousand years ago, and it mentions different names for future times. It says that in the future the Lord would appear as Lord Buddha, his mother's name would be Anjana, and he would appear in Gaya. So Buddha appeared twenty-six hundred years ago, and the Srimad-Bhagavatam, which was written five thousand years ago, mentioned that in the future he would appear. Similarly, there is mention of Lord Caitanya, and similarly the last avatara of this Kali-yuga is also mentioned in the Bhagavatam. It is mentioned that the last incarnation in this age is Kalki. He will appear as the son of a brahmana whose name is Visnu-yasa, in a place called Sambhala.
There is a place in India with that name, so perhaps it is there that the Lord will appear.
So an avatara must conform to the descriptions in the Upanishads, Srimad-Bhagavatam, Mahabharata, and other Vedic literatures.
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Dealing with problems
Most people assume that the only way to solve problems is to work on, or struggle, with them. I have found, however, that focusing on problems is one of the key ways of keeping them alive – as well as preventing you from moving past them. Focusing on problem is also a key ingredient keeping people stuck in worry.
I can assure you that there is a way to get from where you are to where you want to be without focusing on problems. It’s natural, virtually effortless, yet far more effective alternative to the usual “roll up your sleeves and solve this problem” manner of dealing with issues.
Recently I knelt down to clean up some glass and a piece got stuck in my knee. I ended up at the urgent care center getting ten stitches. We all know that the worst thing I could possibly do to the healing process would be to poke or pick at my scab. A wiser method is to treat the wound gently, creating the best possible healing environment. Miraculously, the wound will heal all by itself.
Most problems can and should be dealt with in a similar manner. The thoughts we have around our various issues create and trigger emotional reactions. What usually happens is that we spend our time and energy dealing with these reactions instead of the actual issue. Simply put, when we are frightened, angry, or impatient, we lose our bearings and get in our own way. Instead of bringing out the best in ourselves and others, we bring out negativity and squeeze out creativity.
Use the power of reflection
Often, when we’re looking for an answer, we “turn up the volume” of our thinking. This might be called active problem solving. We think, think, think—and then we think some more. We get personally involved in the process.
For the most part, when we are actively thinking, we’re thinking about that which we already know, that with which we are familiar. We try to solve a problem at the same level of understanding that initially created it. And often we go around in circles.
Recently I was engaged in an interpersonal conflict with someone I was working with. In my mind, I was blaming him for virtually all of our problems. The more I thought about it, the more convinced I was that the problem was with him. It got so bad that I considered breaking up the friendship, which, to that point, had been very pleasing.
Then another friend of mine suggested I stop thinking about it entirely and postpone making any decisions. He suggested instead that I take it easy and spend some time in quiet reflection. I took his advice.
As I quieted down, it became clear to me that a great deal of our problems were actually coming from me. I could see how I was contributing to our poor communication and had many unrealistic expectations.
Something of the past
Anytime you are fixated, immobilized, absorbed in, or even overly concerned with something that is over – whether it happened this morning or ten years ago – constitutes reverse gear.
The reason people find it so difficult to get out of reverse gear is that they can so easily justify being there. In other words, they argue for their “right” to be in reverse by saying things like, “But he did sabotage the deal,” or “She did criticize me in public.” People will use the fact that events actually took place as evidence to support their anger and frustration. What they usually fail to see, however, is that right now, in this moment, the event they are frustrated about is over. The only factor keeping it alive is their memory, their own thinking.
Obviously, it’s important to learn from our past, from our mistakes. I can assure you; however, that being in reverse gear will not help you do so. To learn from our past experiences, it’s helpful to gently reflect on the way we have done things. Reverse gear isn’t gentle. In fact, it’s harsh.
The way out of reverse is to notice how it feels to be in reverse. If you can observe yourself – your mind, your thoughts, your attention – focused on past events, or past frustrations, you can gently bring your attention back to the present. Training your mind to stay out of reverse can be a little like training a puppy to stay at your side. The puppy will stay for a minute, and then dart away. Your mind is like that, too. It can stay focused for a minute or two, then dart backward to an annoyance from this morning or a frustration from yesterday. The most effective way to train your puppy is to gently lead him back to your side. The same approach works with your mind as well. As you notice your thoughts drifting backward, remind yourself that the past is over and done with. Then, gently and easily, guide yourself back to the here and now. All it takes is a little patience and some practice. Pretty soon, your tendency to be in reverse gear will be a part of your past.
Detecting life source
If you inject just one grain of deadly poison into someone, he immediately dies. No one can see the poison or how it acts. But the poison is acting nevertheless. In the same way, the Vedas say that because the minute particle called the soul is within the body, the whole body is working nicely. According to the Vedas, the measurement of the soul within the body is one ten-thousandth part of the tip of a hair. It is too small to see. Where is such seeing power?
If I pinch myself, I immediately feel it, because I am conscious all over my skin. But as soon as the soul is absent, which is the case when my body dies, you can take this same skin and cut it and chop it, and no one will protest. This is the way for detecting soul.
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Encourage creativity in others & have faith in them
Most people, given the right environment, are hard-working, talented, creative, and productive. They want to please others just as you and I want to. Unfortunately, however, most people are hardly ever exposed to an ideal working environment.
When you encourage creativity in others and have faith in them, it’s like creating the ideal conditions for a garden.
You are “planting the seeds” for an environment where success is most likely to occur. When you plant a garden, you want to have the right type of soil, moisture, and sunshine. When you build people up – instead of pushing them down – you create the psychological equivalent.
The same principle applies whether you are hiring a housekeeper, an accountant, or anyone else. It also applies to your children, your spouse, your friends, and your neighbors. It always works.
When you believe in someone and when that person knows that you believe in him / her, magical things can happen. Do your part by creating the ideal working conditions. Be kind, patient, and supportive. Then, sit back and watch what happens.
As you treat others, so shall you be treated
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. What are some other ways of saying this magical formula? Let’s see. What goes around, comes around. As you treat others, so shall you be treated. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. There are many variations of this.
All you have to do to ensure that you will be treated fairly, respectfully, and with kindness – and to ensure that others will reach out to help you and praise you – is to do these things yourself.
Become a thoughtful person. Offer assistance. Be nice. Reach out to others. Become even more generous. Say “Thank you.” These, and hundreds of other similar little gestures, are the ways you can reach out and tell the world you care.
Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. Ultimately, what you offer to the world is exactly what you get back. So, if your goal is to be Krishna Conscious, the most important thing you can do is help others be Krishna Conscious.
Don’t make the mistake of becoming upset or frustrated if your acts of kindness don’t come back immediately. The universe has its own set of rules and its own sense of timing. Be patient and loving.
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Banish your doubts!
Most of us spend a great deal of energy every day of our lives doubting our abilities – to our great detriment. We doubt ourselves at practically every turn; we doubt our abilities to write well, speak to a group, come up with a new idea or solution, overcome an obstacle, market a product or service, or negotiate with a difficult person.
Many times, we question our self-worth, how much we deserve to be paid, or how valuable or talented we are to an organization. We doubt our ability to overcome rejection, start over, or confront a challenge.
Banish doubt from your life – all of it. This doesn’t mean you should start doing foolish things or making childish decisions. It means you should start trusting in yourself. True obstacle lies within the doubt itself – and all doubt lies within your own thoughts.
It’s silly to hold on to any doubt in your life. It does no good. All doubt is a waste of energy and interferes with your natural ability to do things. Whatever doubts are lingering in your mind, let them go.
Be a good listener
A slight improvement in our listening skills can pay enormous dividends in the way of better relationships, enhanced performance, and yes, even stress reduction!
Take a moment to reflect on your own listening skills. Do you truly listen to your colleagues? Do you let them finish their thoughts before you take your turn? Do you sometimes finish sentences for other people? In meetings, are you patient and responsive – or are you impatient and reactive? Do you allow words from others to sink in, or do you assume you know what the person is trying to say, so you jump in?
There are a variety of reasons why effective listening is very important. First of all, people who listen well are highly respected and sought after. Truly great listeners are so rare that when you are around one, it feels good, it makes you feel special.
Good listeners are easy to be around, so, quite naturally, you want to reach out and help them. Therefore, when you become a better listener, there will probably be plenty of people in your corner to offer assistance. People tend to be loyal to good listeners because they feel acknowledged and respected.
Effective listening helps you to understand what people are saying the first time they say it, thus allowing you to avoid a great number of mistake and misinterpretations which, as you know, can be very stressful. If you ask people what frustrates them and makes them angry, many will tell you that “not being listened to” is right near the top of their lists so, being more attentive to what others are saying also helps you avoid many, if not most, interpersonal conflicts.
Favorable Judgment
In a court of justice two lawyers put forward their respective relevant arguments taken from the authorized law books to decide a point, but it is up to the judge to decide the case in favor of one of the litigants. When the opposing lawyers put forward their arguments, both of them are legal and bona fide, but the judgment is given as to which argument is applicable to the particular case.
Lord Caitanya gives His judgment on the authority of sastras that the chanting of the holy names of the Lord is the only means to elevate one to the transcendental platform, and actually we can see it is effective.. Each and every one of our students who has seriously taken to this process may be examined individually, and any impartial judge will find it easy to see that they have advanced in their transcendental realization further than any philosophers, religionists, yogis, karmis, etc.
We have to accept everything favorable to the circumstances. Rejection of other methods in a particular circumstance does not mean that the rejected ones are not bona fide. But for the time being, taking into consideration the age, time, and object, methods are sometimes rejected even though bona fide. We have to test everything by its practical result. By such a test, in this age the constant chanting of the Hare Krishna maha-mantra undoubtedly proves very effective.
Excellence...
A German once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage."
The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?"
The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked. The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it."
The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not. "Excellence" is a drive from inside, not outside. Excellence is not for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and satisfaction of God.
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Warmth in human relationships
A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open.
He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child he looked at his wife and uttered just four words.
The husband just said, "I am with you."
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.
No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. Take off all your jealousies, un-forgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think. Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.
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Your self-defeating beliefs
All of us have beliefs that get in our way. For me, it was my belief that “I didn’t have enough time.” Day after day, for most of my adult life, I would remind myself of this limiting concept. Sometimes I would tell myself this many times in a single day.
What possible value could there be in telling yourself this – or any self-created negative belief? Consider the subtle message that go along with this idea. After all, if I believe that “I don’t have enough time,” I must also believe that “I’ll never get something done on time,” as well as other related, limiting ideas that directly interfere with my success and quality of life. Does this belief help me get things done? Of course not! Does it bring me joy? No. Any effect this belief has is strictly negative.
What’s your most self-defeating belief? Is it that you believe you aren’t good enough? Maybe you believe you don’t deserve success. Perhaps you believe that people are out to get you, or that you are a victim of circumstance. Whatever it is, it’s not worth keeping and certainly not worth defending. But each time you remind yourself – by telling yourself – of your limiting belief, you are reinforcing an idea that directly interferes with your success. It puts a wall between where you are where you want to be.
Each time I slip into my old habit of telling myself that I don’t have enough time, I keep in mind the damage I am inflicting on myself. I remind myself that there is zero value in this, or any, self-defeating belief. You may be surprised, even shocked, at how often you repeat self-defeating statements to yourself and/or to others. The good news is that you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how easily you can rid yourself of their negative effects. Make a commitment to yourself to stop reinforcing this – and all – negative beliefs by discussing them, or even thinking about them. As familiar negatively comes to mind, gently dismiss it. Don’t give it your valuable attention. Save your energy for positive ideas and action.
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Anatomy decoded
Formerly leaves and twigs were growing from this dead tree.. Why are they not growing now? Can the scientists answer this question? Scientists say that the chemicals are the cause of life. But all the chemicals that were there when the tree was living are still present. And life energy is also there. There are thousands of microbes in the tree, and they are all living entities. No one can claim that life energy is lacking in the body of this tree.
The living force is individual, and the particular individual living entity which was the tree has left. This must be the case, since all the chemicals that are necessary to support life are still there yet the tree is dead.
Here is another example: suppose I am living in an apartment, and then I leave it. I am gone, but many other living entities remain there—ants, spiders, and so forth. It is not true that simply because I have left the apartment, it can no longer accommodate life. Other living entities are still living there. It is simply that I—an individual living being—have left. The chemicals in the tree are like the apartment; they are simply the environment for the individual living force—the soul—to act through.
Honesty
There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court.
The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, "Your Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale."
The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter" The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."
What is the moral of the story? We get back in life what we give to others.
Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they don't even know what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving? Themselves – more than anyone else.
What is Maturity?
Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence or destruction.
Maturity is to have patience.
Maturity is the willingness to pass up immediate pleasure in favor of the long-term gain.
Maturity is perseverance, the ability to sweat out a project or a situation in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging set-backs.
Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaint or collapse.
Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say, "I was wrong." And, when right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, "I told you so."
Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. The immature spend their lives exploring endless possibilities; then they do nothing.
Maturity is the art of living in peace with that which we cannot change, the courage to change that which should be changed -- and the wisdom to know the difference.
Simply by offering prayers to the Supreme Lord one can become perfect, even though engaged in his occupational duty. The real purpose of life is to become a devotee of the Lord. It does not matter where one is situated. Whether one is a brahmana, ksatriya, vaisya, sudra, American, Englishman, Indian, etc., one can execute devotional service anywhere and everywhere in the material existence simply by offering prayers unto the Supreme Personality of Godhead. The Hare Krishna maha-mantra is also a prayer, for a prayer addresses the Supreme Personality of Godhead by His name and invokes good fortune by petitioning the Lord to allow one to engage in His devotional service. The Hare Krishna maha-mantra also says, "My dear Lord Krishna, my dear Lord Rama, O energy of the Lord, Hare, kindly engage me in Your service."
Real Awakening
What is spiritual life? Complete freedom. And an eternal, blissful life full of knowledge. That is spiritual life—a life distinct from material life, which is based on the bodily concept. Spiritual life means an eternal, blissful life of knowledge, while material life means a non-permanent, miserable life full of ignorance.
The body is impermanent, and it is always full of miserable conditions. There is no blissfulness in the material world; we are always suffering some kind of distress.
Simply we have to chant the Hare Krishna mantra. It is not very difficult. And if we chant this mantra, our heart will gradually be cleansed and we will understand spiritual life in Krishna consciousness. The whole problem is that due to material association our consciousness is now contaminated; therefore we cannot understand spiritual life. But if we take advantage of chanting the Hare Krishna mantra, our heart will gradually be cleansed and we shall be able to understand, "I am not my body: I am a spiritual soul." Then real awakening will come.
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Be willing to take advice
Once upon a time, there were three people who went to watch drama together. One of them was far-sighted, another one had a hearing problem, and the other had a twisted head.
After the show, they were judging the drama.
“Today’s show had great singers, but the costume design was poor,” said the person who had farsightedness.
“The costume was perfect, but the sound was too low,” said the person who had hearing problem.
“The sound was loud and the costume was fine. Everything was great, but the performance stage was lopsided,” said the person who had twisted head.
From the story above, most people do not admit their shortcomings. It’s because the person, who had farsightedness, cannot see things in clarity, but complains about the costume; the one, who had hearing problem, cannot hear things clearly, but complains about the music; the one, who doesn’t admit his twisted head, but complains about the performance stage.
According to statistics, the vocabulary most often used in our daily communication is either “I” or “me”. Aren't conflicts among human and disputes among nations, the results of over-emphasizing one's opinion?
Accept sincere advice and the reality of truth given by others. One who is willing to take advice and relinquish one’s ego can work well with others.
If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging
A great football coach once said,” Just because you’re doing something wrong, doing it more intensely won’t help.”
Yet, how often do we do just that? We are making a mistake, getting ourselves into trouble – and, instead of backing off, reflecting, and doing it differently, we roll up our sleeves and do the very same thing even more intensely!
The same pattern exists in many areas of our lives. Many people have a great deal of conflict to manage. Whenever a potential new conflict arises, or the environment or circumstances seem to be encouraging that development, instead of backing off and looking for new ways to defuse the situation, they charge straight ahead, as always – repeating their identical patterns and responses, taking the adversarial approach – and, once again, find themselves in the middle of another drama or conflict. Then, frustrated and stressed, they assume the world is to blame, or that they need to find more effective and more aggressive ways to deal with things. This is the essence of being in a vicious circle. The same essential problems come up over and over again, unless and until you see your own contribution – and vow to do something differently.
The solution is simple, but not always very easy. The trick is to recognize when your part of the pattern is being repeated; for example, “Here I am, arguing again,” or “I’m upset by the very same things – this sure feels familiar.” Then, rather than clenching your fists, feeling frustrated, filing your mind with stressful thoughts, and trying the same old thing, you instead relax, back off, and empty your mind. Soften and try to see the situation in a whole new way.
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God is always around us
A man whispered, "God, speak to me" and a cuckoo bird sang. But, the man did not hear.
So the man yelled, "God, speak to me" and the thunder rolled across the sky. But, the man did not listen.
The man looked around and said, "God, let me see you." And a star shined brightly. But the man did not see.
So, the man cried out in despair, "Touch me God, and let me know you are here." Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man. But, the man brushed the butterfly away, and walked on.
The man cried, "God, I need your help!" And an e-mail arrived reaching out with good news and encouragement.
But, the man deleted it and continued crying
Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.
God is always around us in the little and simple things that we take for granted.
Perfect Understanding
If a boy wants to know who his father is, the simple process is to ask his mother. The mother will then say, "He is your father." This is the way of perfect knowledge. Of course, one may speculate about one's father, wondering if this is the man or if that is the man, and one may wander over the whole city, asking, "Are you my father? Are you my father?" The knowledge derived from such a process, however, will always remain imperfect. One will never find his father in this way. The simple process is to take the knowledge from an authority—in this case, the mother. She simply says, "My dear boy, here is your father." In this way our knowledge is perfect. Transcendental knowledge is similar. Spiritual world is not subject to our speculation. God says, "There is a spiritual world, and that is My headquarters" In this way we receive knowledge from Krishna, the best authority. We may not be perfect, but our knowledge is perfect because it is received from the perfect source.
Although the understanding of God is a difficult subject, God explains Himself in the Bhagavad-gita. He says, "I am like this, and I am like this. The material nature is like this, and the spiritual nature is like that. The living entities are like this, and the Supreme Soul is like that." Thus everything is completely described in the Bhagavad-gita. Although understanding God is very difficult, it is not difficult when God Himself gives us His own knowledge. Actually that is the only process by which we can understand God. To understand God by our own speculation is not possible, for God is unlimited and we are limited. Our knowledge and perception are both very limited, so how can we understand the unlimited? If we simply accept the version of the unlimited, we can come to understand Him. That understanding is our perfection.
Complete use of car
Now we are thinking that so-called material advancement is the solution to our problems, but this is not a fact. The real solution is to get out of the material condition entirely by becoming Krishna conscious. Because God is eternal, we are also eternal, but in the material condition we are thinking, "I am this body," and therefore we must repeatedly change from body to body. This is due to ignorance. Actually we are not our bodies but spiritual sparks, parts and parcels of God.
The body is just like a vehicle for the soul. It is just like a motorcar. Just as you go from one place to another in a car, so due to mental concoction in the material condition of life, we are going from one position to another, trying to become happy. But nothing will make us happy unless we come to our real position, which is that we are all parts and parcels of God and that our real business is to associate with God and help all living entities by cooperating with Him. Civilized human life is attained only after a long evolution through 8,400,000 species of life. So if we don't take advantage of this civilized human life to understand who God is, who we are, and what our relationship is, but instead simply waste our life like cats and dogs, going here and there looking for sense gratification, then we will have missed a great opportunity. The Krishna consciousness movement is meant to teach people how to take full advantage of the human form of life by trying to understand God and our relationship with Him.
Self-confidence
The business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out. Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy.
Suddenly an old man appeared before him. "I can see that something is troubling you," he said. After listening to the executive's woes, the old man said, "I believe I can help you."
He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying, "Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time." The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world!
"I can erase my money worries in an instant!" he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the un-cashed check in his safe. Just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.
With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.
One year later, he returned to the park with the un-cashed check. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.
"I'm so glad I caught him!" she cried. "I hope he hasn't been bothering you. He's always escaping from the home and telling people he's John D. Rockefeller."And she led the old man away.
The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he'd been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him.
Suddenly, he realized that it wasn't the money that had turned his life around. It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.
Delight in the success of others
Let’s be honest here. Have you ever found yourself secretly wishing someone else would fail? I don’t mean you wish them any serious bad luck, only that they don’t become more successful than you? Sometimes it’s hard to wish others well, particularly those you know well – friends, colleagues, neighbors, family members. It’s hard to see a colleague get the promotion you worked so hard for. It’s difficult to see your friend on television, or your neighbor able to purchase a new car. We’re human; we get jealous.
While it can be seductive, or at least habitual, to secretly desire to keep others at your level, it’s absolutely not in your best interest. The way to rise to the top is to wish everyone well, to hope with all your heart that everyone can expand to their greatest potential, to wish that the people you know, and those whom you don’t know, can all realize their dreams and achieve greatness.
When you wish someone well, it creates a momentum within you, an inner environment of success. It reminds your spirit of your loving and deserving nature. It creates the atmosphere within you to help you succeed and create abundance. When you delight in the success of others, it’s as if you are sprinkling the seeds for a garden of success.
As you wish others well, notice how good it feels. When your wishes are sincere, they will serve as a reminder that giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. Truly, it feels as good to see someone else succeed as it does to succeed yourself. Start delighting in the success of others and watch your own level of greatness soar!
Stay away from the blame game
One of the most insidious tempting habits is the habit of blaming others or external conditions for our failures, mistakes, problems, and lack of success. You might call it “the blame game.”
Blaming others is a very easy thing to do. It creeps into our lives in subtle, as well as not so subtle ways. It shows up in our thoughts and in our conversations. We might, for example, think to ourselves, “I’d be more successful if the products I were selling were of better quality,” or “I’d make more money if I had taken a different career direction”. We might attribute our lack of fulfillment to changing times, recession, a missed opportunity, or too little education. Or, we might complain “I can’t help it, no one ever taught me how to close a deal.” The habit of blaming can and does happen in almost any situation – we blame our competitors, employer, the government, our personal history, our age, even our parents or current family responsibilities.
It’s not that our tendency to blame is without any merit. There usually is a grain or truth in our complaints. But that’s part of the problem. We can almost always justify to ourselves why our version of the blame game is valid. But all that does is keep the game going. And in doing so, we move away from the solution. It’s really easy to blame our lack of exercise on our schedule – it’s little tougher to admit that we are not prioritizing.
Most of the time blaming isn’t blatant. It’s far more subtle. And that’s precisely why it’s hard to identify – and put an end to. Yet, if you can have the humility to admit that you, too, fall into this habit from time to time – and you can identify those instances – you will have opened the door to success in life.
You catch more flies with honey
When I see someone acting aggressively or intimidating someone, pushing their weight around, or being manipulative, I feel like reminding them that, in the long run, you really do catch more flies with honey. Simply put, it pays to be nice! Sure, there are times when being pushy or aggressive will assist you in getting your way – you can scare away, intimidate certain people some of the time. But I believe that this type of aggressive attitude and behavior almost comes back to haunt you.
When you are kind, loving, and patient – when you are fair, a good listener, and when you genuinely care about others – your attitude comes across in all you do. As a result, people love to be around you and will be comfortable and trusting in your presence. They side with you, share their secrets of success, and want to assist you in any way they can. Very simply, they delight in your success.
When you are gentle, people are drawn to you like “flies to honey.” They forgive you easily when you make a mistake and are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. When they talk about you behind your back, their comments will be positive and upbeat. You will have a notable reputation.
It’s unfortunate, but the opposite is also true. When you’re difficult or demanding, your positive qualities are often overlooked, disregarded, or forgotten. In addition, you create a great deal of stress for yourself with an adversarial, aggressive attitude. You’ll be looking over your shoulder wondering who, if anyone is on your side. When you’re pushy, you actually push people away. But when you’re gentle and kind, people are drawn to your energy and sincerity.
Universal Message
Where is the religion which does not recognize God? One may call God "Allah" or "Krishna" or something else, but where is that religion which does not recognize God? We are teaching that one should simply try to love God. We are attracted by so many things, but if our love is reposed in God, then we will be happy. We don't have to learn to love anything else; everything else is automatically included. Just try to love God. Don't try to love just trees or plants or insects. This will never satisfy. Learn to love God. That is Chaitanya Mahaprabhu's mission; that is our mission.
Be careful what you ask for
Many of us spend a great deal of time wishing things were different. We dream of a “better job,” less of this, and more of that. Sometimes, the things we spend our energy longing for actually do (or would) improve the quality our life. Other times, however, the very things we wish for are hardly worth the trade-offs, or the effort. For this reason, I suggest you be really careful what you ask for.
Carefully think through what it is that you want, because you just might end up getting it, which is often – more frustration, more grief, more travel, more conflict, more demands on your time, and so forth. When you think in these terms, it often helps you reconnect with your gratitude and realize that perhaps things aren’t as bad as we sometimes make them out to be.
I’ve met plenty of people who spent years focused on how much better their lives were going to be when certain things occurred – i.e. when they were finally promoted to various positions – so much so that they took for granted the good parts of the position they already had. In other words, they were so focused on what was wrong with their careers that they failed to enjoy and appreciate the gifts they were enjoying all along.
Keep in mind that a better paying position might make you feel more financially secure and it might be worth it – but you may give up other things that you haven’t yet considered, or that you simply take for granted. Remember; be careful what you ask for, because you might just get it – and more.
Don’t keep people waiting
Time is precious to everyone. It’s a bad habit to keep other people waiting. Almost everyone feels that one of their most valued commodities is their time. This being the case, one of the ultimate slaps and most sure way to annoy someone is to keep them waiting. While most people are somewhat forgiving, keeping them waiting is a sign of disrespect. The subtle message is, “My time is more important than yours.”
Deep down, we all know that no one likes to be kept waiting. Therefore, it’s highly stressful to keep other people waiting because you know you are disappointing someone. In the back of your mind, you know well the person is looking at his watch, wondering why you are late. You may be keeping him from personal or professional commitments and that could make him angry.
There are obviously exceptions to the rule – times when factors beyond your control prevent you from being on time. Things happen to all of us, and no one has a perfect record. Truthfully, however, a vast majority of the time, being late is preventable by planning ahead, allowing a little extra time, or making allowances for unexpected problems.
Many times we compound the problem by making excuse like “traffic was horrible,” when, in reality, traffic is virtually always horrible. The problem wasn’t traffic – but the fact that we didn’t factor enough time in our schedule for the traffic. It’s likely the case that, even if traffic was horrible, or you got off to a late start, or whatever the excuse, the other person isn’t going to be interested or impressed.
I wouldn’t underestimate the negative impact of making someone wait. It drives some people crazy. And, even if they don’t express their frustration to you directly, it can show up in other ways – not taking you seriously, avoiding you when possible, being disrespectful, choosing to spend their time with others instead of you, showing up late to your future appointments, etc.
Keep yourself healthy - physically and emotionally
Many times people say things like, “I don’t have time to exercise,” what they really should be saying is, “I don’t have time not to exercise.”
If you lose your health and sense of well-being, you won’t make it to work at all. In the long run, it takes far less time to take care of yourself than it does to lose your ability to function well.
One should eat well, exercise, get plenty of rest, have regular physical checkups, and partake in other healthy habits. In addition to the obvious problems associated with ignoring these commonsense health habits, you can see that it’s also a horrible waste of time in the long run. Each cold or flu costs you days of productive work time. Who knows how many years of time you will save by simple taking care of yourself?
Take care of yourself – physically and emotionally. You can let go of your fear that you’ll fall behind because, in fact, you’ll be more productive and have a longer, happier life. So keep yourself healthy – physically and emotionally.
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Being Immortal
Matter changes in six phases: birth, growth, maintenance, production of by-products, dwindling, and death. But the life within matter, the spirit soul, is eternal; it goes through no such changes. Life appears to be developing and decaying, but actually it is simply passing through each of these six phases until the material body can no longer be maintained. Then the old body dies, and the soul enters a new body. When our clothing is old and worn, we change it. Similarly, one day our bodies become old and useless, and we pass on to a new body.
As the embodied soul continually passes, in this body, from boyhood to youth to old age, the soul similarly passes into another body at death. This means that only the material body of the indestructible and eternal entity is subject to destruction. This material body is perishable, but the life within the body is nitya, eternal.
Be willing to seek out, listen to, and take advice
I believe that if someone has worked hard, achieved some measure of success, and is willing to help, I’d be a fool not to listen! Plus, as you probably already know, almost everyone loves to give advice.
Unfortunately, many people miss out on one of the surest shortcuts to success: to seek out, listen to, and take advice. So often, when a person struggles, he or she is very close to a major breakthrough. They are literally “an inch away” from achieving their goals and dreams. If they would just open their eyes to a blind spot, see something they are doing in a slightly different or new way, their success would be phenomenal and certain.
I believe there are many incredibly talented people who are on the verge of possible greatness, or on the verge of improving their life in a meaningful way. Yet this one tiny flaw – the unwillingness to listen to anyone else and the absolute unwillingness to take advice – consistently gets in their way. Don’t let this minor obstacle get in your way.
The advice is out there. People want to help you. Allow yourself to receive help and the quality of your life will soar.
Quest for Happiness
Suppose a man is thrown into the ocean. He may be an expert swimmer, but he cannot be happy in the ocean because he is out of his natural condition of life. The only way he will become happy is if someone picks him up from the ocean and places him on the land.
So if we are serious, if we actually want to be happy, we must take to the cultivation of spiritual understanding, an understanding of Krishna consciousness. Of course, in every country of the world there is some religious system, some system for understanding spiritual life. But unfortunately, almost nobody is interested in spiritual life because people have been induced to become addicted to material, or sensual, activities. They are going further and further away from spiritual life and becoming more and more confused. Disappointment is rising all over the world.
So to mitigate this disappointment and confusion, one has to take to Krishna consciousness. Try to understand the philosophy of Krishna consciousness, and act accordingly. Then you will be happy.
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Facing problems in life
You can be annoyed by problems in life; think about how unfair and awful they are, complaining about them with others. You can remind yourself, over and over again, how difficult life is and how this problem is yet another justification for why you “have a right” to be upset! You can tighten up. Unfortunately, this is the way many people approach their problems.
When you think of your problems as speed bumps on a road, however, they begin to look very different. You’ll begin to expect a number of speed bumps to present themselves during a typical day. Like riding a bike, bumps are simply a part of the experience. You can fight and resist, or you can relax and accept.
As a problem shows up during your day, you can begin to say to yourself, “Ah, here’s another one.” Then, like the bump on your bike ride, you begin to relax into it, thereby absorbing the shock, making it seem less significant. Then you can calmly decide what action or decision is likely to get you over this hurdle in the most effective, graceful manner. The calmer and more relaxed you remain, the easier it is to remember & depend on the Lord. Lord will then guide what best you can do in a given situation or circumstance.
Lord Krishna says in Bhagavad-gita 18.58
If you become conscious of Me, you will pass over all the obstacles of conditioned life by My grace. If, however, you do not work in such consciousness but act through false ego, not hearing Me, you will be lost.
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Driving Ahead
Suppose I am driving a very nice car, but I am simply absorbed in the machine only. I have forgotten my destination, where I have to go, and I am busy studying the car. What is the use? You may be driving a good car, but you must know how to reach your destination. That is your main business. Knowing how the car works is secondary. Your main business is knowing how to utilize the car so you can reach your destination. That is intelligence.
So, we have fallen into this material condition, and we are occupying various forms. As long as we are in the bodily concept—thinking "I am this 'car'"—that is ignorance. What is wanted is to think, "I am not this body. I am spirit soul, and I have to utilize this body to go to my destination—the spiritual world—where I can meet the supreme spirit, God, and live in His association." Human life is meant for understanding what the Supreme Lord is, where He lives, what He does, and what our relationship with Him is. To seek to understand these things is called inquiry into the Absolute Truth. That is actual education.
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Stop Anticipating Tiredness
I overheard two men speaking. It was as if each person was trying to convince the other, and perhaps themselves, how many hours and how hard they were working, how few hours of sleep they were going to get, and, most of all, how tired they were going to be. I wasn’t quite sure if they were bragging or complaining, but one thing was certain, they were appearing more and more tired the longer the conversation continued.
The problem with anticipating tiredness in this way, or in any way, is that it clearly reinforces the tiredness. It rivets your attention to the number of hours you are sleeping and how tired you are going to be. Then, when you wake up, you are likely to do it again by reminding yourself how few hours it has been since your head hit the pillow. Who knows what really happens, but seems to me that anticipating tiredness must send a message to your brain reminding you to feel and act tired because that is the way you have programmed yourself to respond.
Clearly, everyone needs a certain degree of rest. I’ve read a few articles suggesting that many, if not most, of us don’t get enough sleep. And if you’re tired, the best possible solution would probably be to try to get more sleep. But in those instances when it’s not possible to do so, the worst thing you can do, in my estimation, is to convince yourself, in advance, that you are going to be exhausted.
I’ve noticed this habit of anticipating tiredness creep into the conversations of many people. If you are someone who does this, see if you can avoid the tendency as much as possible. If you do, you may find yourself feeling less tired.
Perfection of Life
When one goes to prison he has to put aside his usual dress and take the prison dress. Similarly, anyone who comes into this material world has to take a material body. This is the law. Unless you have this material body, how can you feel pleasure in material sense enjoyment? It is just like performing on stage: if you are going to play a certain part, you have to dress accordingly. Therefore, this material body is compared to a dress. For example, every lady and gentleman; every one of us; has a different dress.
But our dress is superficial. As human beings we are one. Similarly, each one of us has a different bodily dress, but spiritually we are one. And this is true of all living entities: they are in different bodily dresses only.
The dresses are calculated to total 8,400,000 different forms. In the water there are 900,000 different dresses, and there are 2,000,000 different types of trees and plants. There are 1,100,000 species of insects, 1,000,000 types of birds, 3,000,000 types of beasts, and 400,000 forms of human beings. In this way, the living entity is passing through different dresses.
And the best dress is this human form, because in this dress you can understand what God is, what you are, and what your relationship with God is. Then you can act in that relationship and go back home, back to Godhead. In this human form of dress you have developed consciousness.
But if you miss this opportunity to understand God, then again you will be put into the cycle of the evolutionary process. We should not, therefore, misuse this human form. We should utilize it properly to understand the unlimited God and our relationship with Him, and to act on this knowledge. That is the perfection of life.
Change what you can & accept the things you can't
There is prayer that says: “Lord, grant me the strength to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
In life there are things we must deal with. There are things we can change, that we have some power to control. There are other things that are absolutely beyond our control. Yet how often do we spend our time and energy doing absolutely nothing about the things we do have some control over, while whining and complaining about those things we can’t do anything about? Often, because we have our priorities twisted in the wrong direction, we end up chasing our tails and wasting time. Once we change gears, and focus only on those things that we have some capacity to control, it’s easy to get back on track.
It’s tempting to focus on aspects of life that are beyond our control. How often do you hear people complaining about taxes? While no one likes to pay taxes, and certainly no one should pay any more than he or she is legally required to pay, there is a great deal of wisdom in spending your time creating more wealth rather than complaining about taxes.
Go ahead and lobby for lower taxes if you must. Voice your opinion if you choose to do so. But once you have done what you can do, let go of it. Know when to quit. Expend your energy doing what you can do – focus on creation, creativity, positive ideas, and solutions. Stop complaining about taxes; focus, instead, on making so much money that taxes will seem irrelevant!
Never ever let success go to your head!
There’s an alarming trend taking place: People who have had some degree of good fortune and success tend to lose their humility and become at least slightly arrogant. This is very unfortunate for many reasons. First, and most obviously, no one really wants to be around someone who is arrogant. It’s boring, and it’s annoying! Arrogance implies a lack of gratitude. The assumption is, “I did this all by myself; it’s all about me.” Factors such as Lord’s blessings, good fortune, and so on are forgotten or disregarded.
In addition, when you allow success to go to your head, your stress levels skyrocket and your quality of life gradually disappears. People will stop liking you, and eventually, you’ll stop liking yourself.
Friendships slip away; obsessive busyness and a lack of time take over. Someone who was happy and relatively easy to please is now impossible to satisfy.
I’ve read articles about celebrities, athletes, and business people who have done really well – their talent, timing, hard work, luck, and all the rest of it kicked in at just the right time. Yet, rather than being grateful and keeping a sense of perspective, they think that they are somehow better or more important than others simply because they’re good at something and have enjoyed some success.
Never ever let success go to your head!
True Religion
At the present moment, no one actually knows the meaning of religion. Religion means to abide by the laws of God, just as good citizenship means to abide by the laws of the government. Because no one has any understanding of God, no one knows the laws of God or the meaning of religion. This is the present status of people in today's society. They are forgetting religion, taking it to be a kind of faith. Faith may be blind faith. Faith is not the real description of religion. Religion means the laws given by God, and anyone who follows those laws is religious, whether a Christian, a Hindu, or a Muslim.
The religious system might have been misused, but that does not mean that religion should be avoided. Real religion should be taken. It does not mean that because religion has not been properly executed by the so-called priests, religion should be rejected. If my eye is giving me some trouble on account of a cataract, it does not mean that the eye should be plucked out. The cataract should be removed. That is Krishna consciousness.
Avoid the trap of reaction spirals
It’s a rare person who can avoid the trap of reaction spirals. This is the dangerous tendency to overreact to something – and then compound the problem by over analyzing it. Here is a typical example: someone criticizes some aspect of your work. You overreact to the criticism and become defensive. Then you spend the next half hour analyzing the critical comments, convincing yourself they are incorrect. A whirlwind of thoughts passes through your mind. You focus on the criticism. The more you do, the worse you feel, and the more tired you become.
The truth is, in a negative state of mind, we expend unnecessary energy, make very poor decisions, and lose our creativity and sense of joy. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could nip these reaction spirals in the bud?
You can! The trick is to see them coming and to commit, in advance, to “short circuiting” them. With every negative reaction comes a negative feeling – a feeling of irritation, annoyance, or impatience. We often use these feelings to justify further negativity. For example, we say to ourselves something like, “I have a right to be angry.” Now that we’re focused on our anger, we think about other instances that make us angry, and so on. This fuels our negative feelings and creates a negative spiral.
If, instead of compounding our negative feelings, we used them as a signal to alert us to potential trouble, we would be in a much better position to stop the cycle before it got out of hand.
Cure for modern jaundice
If a man is suffering from jaundice and you give him a piece of sugar candy, he will say that it is very bitter. But is sugar candy bitter? No, it is very sweet. And the medicine for jaundice is that sugar. Modern science prescribes this, and it is prescribed in the Vedic literature also. So if we take a great quantity of this sugar candy, then we will be relieved from jaundice. And when there is relief, then one says, "Oh, this is very sweet." So the modern jaundice of a godless civilization can be cured by this chanting of Hare Krishna. In the beginning it may appear bitter, but when one advances, then he will see how pleasing it is.
We are so full of miseries because we have identified ourselves with the material world. Therefore we are unhappy. Anxieties and fearfulness are due to our misidentifying with the material world. As soon as one understands his identity, his relationship with God, then immediately he becomes happy.
Handling setbacks & failures
The question isn’t whether or not we will have setback, disappointments, and failures in life – we will. Rather, the question is, how will we deal with them? Will we become upset, immobilized, frustrated, and hopeless or will we take a more positive approach and depend on Lord in such situations?
In other words, setbacks and failures can seem significant, even insurmountable in the moment. Yet, once we get through them, we look back at them as a necessary, even important part of our success. A number of people have told me that some major failures were the best thing that ever happened to them. Sure, it was painful while it was happening, but it woke them up and taught them some important lessons in life.
Few people are successful immediately, never rejected, perfectly placed the first time around. It’s usually just the opposite --- trial & error, rejection, setbacks, failures, & so forth.
If you are defeated over and over again, you can focus on the fact that things aren’t working out, beat yourself up mentally, and feel hopeless – or you can learn from your mistakes, improve your skills, let go of the past, and move on.
All the frustration in the world isn’t going to change what has already happened – so why make a big issue out of it?
The trick, I believe, is being able to use not only our past setbacks, but the current ones as well, to help us grow and move on. In other words, when something doesn’t work out well, rather than dwelling on it and feeling badly, we let it go, see what we can learn, make any necessary adjustments, and move forward.
Learning to stop making a big issue of our setbacks is a powerful way to live a better life. Without the ongoing nagging and heaviness of self-directed criticism and worrisome thoughts, we free up energy to be creative, hardworking, and successful.
Express your gratitude toward others
The people we remember to thank, in person, with a thoughtful note or gesture, or a phone call, are infinitely more likely to help us again than those we take for granted or neglect to thank. It’s so obvious, yet so few people really understand how this works.
People love to be acknowledged, admired, and thanked. People love to be thanked, not out of any selfish need but simply because it feels good to be acknowledged. And when we are sincerely acknowledged, the acknowledgment acts as reinforcement that we have done the right thing. Thus, we want to do it again.
The next time you do something really nice or helpful for someone and they thank you, take note of how it makes you feel.
It’s true that there are many instances where you would help someone again without expecting any thanks. However, you’ll find yourself even more willing to help someone who expresses their gratitude and acknowledged your help.
By engaging in constant gratitude, you’ll be guaranteeing success, happiness and better relationships.
Illusioned courage
When rabbits are being attacked by bigger animals, they close their eyes and think, "I am not going to be killed." But they are killed anyway. Similarly, we may deny the existence of God and the law of God, but still God and His law are there. In the high-court you may say, "I don't care for the law of the government," but you will be forced to accept the government law. If you deny the state law, then you will be put into prison and be caused to suffer. Similarly, you may foolishly decry the existence of God—"There is no God" or "I am God"—but nevertheless you are responsible for all your actions, both good and bad.
There are two kinds of activities—good and bad. If you act nicely and perform pious activities, then you get good fortune, and if you act sinfully, then you have to suffer.
Avoid the phrase: I have to go to work
This article has to do with six of the most common words in the English language: “I have to go to work.”
In all probability, it’s absolutely true that you do “have to” got to work. Nevertheless, these particular words carry with them some really negative baggage that, I believe, is self-destructive.
Other than your thoughts, your words are your primary entry point into your experience. When you “have” to do something, it implies that it’s not a choice – that you would rather be somewhere else, doing something different. This, in turn, implies that your heart isn’t fully into what you are doing, which makes living up to your potential extremely difficult and enjoying your experience near impossible.
So, when you say, “I have to go to work,” you are in a subtle way setting yourself up for a bad day. This doesn’t mean you’ll always have a bad day – but it certainly increases the likelihood.
Beyond that, however, there is a more subtle negative message you send to yourself and to others. It seems that deep down, what you’re really saying is, “I don’t like my work. I’m not capable of choosing work that I enjoy.” What a horrible message to say to yourself (or to someone else) about something you spend most of your time doing! Think about it. If you really loved your work, why would you be saying, “I have to go to work? Do you ever say, “I have to start my weekend now”?
Never ever backstab
There are many good reasons why we should never backstab. First of all, it sounds terrible and makes us look really bad. When I hear someone slamming someone behind his back, it says nothing about the person they are referring to, but it does say a great deal about the person who is backstabbing. To me, someone who slams a person behind his back is hypocritical or two-faced.
A person in a habit of backstabbing will put on a smile and say nice things to people but, behind their backs, he would act in a completely different way. To me that’s not fair play.
But aside from being a mean-spirited and unfair thing to do, backstabbing creates other problems as well. It causes stress, anxiety, and other negative feelings.
How does it feel to say nasty, offensive, and negative things about someone else who isn’t even there to defend themselves? Obviously, answer is so obvious that it’s almost embarrassing to discuss. I know that when I have backstabbed in the past, my words have left me with an uncomfortable feeling. I remember asking myself the question, “How could you stoop so low?” You simply can’t win this way.
Finally, it’s absolutely predictable that if you backstab someone, you will lose the respect and trust of the people you are sharing with. Remember, most of the people you’re sharing with are your friends or colleagues. It’s important to realize that, even if they appear to enjoy what you are saying, and even if they too are participating in the gossip, there will always be a part of them that knows that you are capable of backstabbing. They’ve seen it firsthand. It’s inevitable that they will ask themselves the question, “If he will talk behind someone else’s back, wouldn’t he be capable of doing the same thing to me? What’s more, they know that the answer is ‘YES’.
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You catch more flies with honey
When I see someone acting aggressively or intimidating someone, pushing their weight around, or being manipulative, I feel like reminding them that, in the long run, you really do catch more flies with honey. Simply put, it pays to be nice! Sure, there are times when being pushy or aggressive will assist you in getting your way – you can scare away, intimidate certain people some of the time. But I believe that this type of aggressive attitude and behavior almost comes back to haunt you.
When you are kind, loving, and patient – when you are fair, a good listener, and when you genuinely care about others – your attitude comes across in all you do. As a result, people love to be around you and will be comfortable and trusting in your presence. They side with you, share their secrets of success, and want to assist you in any way they can. Very simply, they delight in your success.
When you are gentle, people are drawn to you like “flies to honey.” They forgive you easily when you make a mistake and are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. When they talk about you behind your back, their comments will be positive and upbeat. You will have a notable reputation.
It’s unfortunate, but the opposite is also true. When you’re difficult or demanding, your positive qualities are often overlooked, disregarded, or forgotten. In addition, you create a great deal of stress for yourself with an adversarial, aggressive attitude. You’ll be looking over your shoulder wondering who, if anyone is on your side. When you’re pushy, you actually push people away. But when you’re gentle and kind, people are drawn to your energy and sincerity.
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Who is Krishna?
Who is Bhagavan? Bhagavan means one who is fully equipped with six opulences. Krishna is accepted by the authorities as Bhagavan, or the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Bhagavan is the richest personality. We are proud of possessing a few acres of land, and Bhagavan means who is the proprietor of the whole universe. Therefore He is considered the richest. Similarly, He is considered the strongest. And similarly, He is considered the wisest. And similarly, He is the most beautiful personality. In this way, when you find a person the richest, the strongest, the most beautiful, the most wise -- He is Bhagavan, or God. When Krishna was present on this planet He proved all these opulences possessed by Him.
If you want to stop crime...
The difference between a pious man and a criminal is that one is pure in heart and the other is dirty. This dirt is like a disease in the form of uncontrollable lust and greed in the heart of the criminal. Today people in general are in this diseased condition, and thus crime is very widespread. When the people become purified of these dirty things, crime will disappear.
The simplest process of purification is to assemble in congregation and chant the holy names of God. This is called sankirtana and is the basis of our Krishna consciousness movement. So, if you want to stop crime, then you must gather as many people as possible for mass sankirtana. This congregational chanting of the holy name of God will dissipate all the dirty things in everyone's heart. Then there will be no more crime.
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Don’t worry if you do not have some facility
A jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. 'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.
The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'. 'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email that means you don’t exist. And who doesn't exist, can’t have the job.'
The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.
The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go every day earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US. He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.
He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email. The man replied, ‘I don't have an email.'
The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been If you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'
Do not panic unnecessarily
People panic about practically everything—missed deadlines, orders not received, comments by others, fear of mistakes, negative trends. You name it and someone has panicked about it. Yet I’ve never seen even a single instance where the panic actually helped to solve the problem. Instead, panic is neutral at best and greatly interferes at worst. Panic tends to bring out the worst in everyone. It makes others (and you) feel tense and fearful. It increases the likelihood of mistakes, missed opportunities and miscommunications.
Nothing interferes with the creation of success and abundance like panic. When you make the commitment to stop panicking, you’ll notice some incredible things happening. First, you’ll notice that a vast majority of what you are most worried about will never happen, or it won’t be as bad as you first thought. It was Benjamin Franklin who said, “Some terrible things happened in my lifetime – a few of which actually happened.”
By avoiding the panic, you won’t waste time, anxiety, and energy trying to solve what probably doesn’t need solving. Second, when you learn to keep your bearings, your wisdom will come forth. In the absence of worry, answers will emerge. Instead of a head full of concerns, you’ll create a head full of solutions. Finally, when you stay calm, you really do bring out the best in others. Many people react to the feelings of others. If you can maintain your bearings, chances are the people you work with will, too.
To bring forth your greatest potential, eliminate panic altogether from your thinking..
Learning from our glorious past
We are all more or less proud of our past Indian civilization, but we actually do not know the real nature of that civilization. We cannot be proud of our past material civilization, which is now a thousand times greater than in days gone by. It is said that we are passing through the age of darkness, the Kali-yuga. What is this darkness? The darkness cannot be due to backwardness in material knowledge, because we now have more of it than formerly. If not we ourselves, our neighbors, at any rate, have plenty of it. Therefore, we must conclude that the darkness of the present age is not due to a lack of material advancement, but that we have lost the clue to our spiritual advancement, which is the prime necessity of human life and the criterion of the highest type of human civilization.
Throwing of bombs from airplanes is no advancement of civilization from the primitive, uncivilized practice of dropping big stones on the heads of enemies from the tops of hills. Improvement of the art of killing our neighbors by means of machine guns and poisonous gases is certainly no advancement from primitive barbarism, which prided itself on its art of killing by bows and arrows. Nor does the development of a sense of pampered selfishness prove anything more than intellectual animalism. True human civilization is very different from all these states, and therefore in the Katha Upanishad there is the emphatic call "Please wake up and try to understand the boon that you now have in this human form of life. The path of spiritual realization is very difficult; it is sharp like a razor's edge. That is the opinion of learned transcendental scholars."
Thus, while others were yet in the womb of historical oblivion, the sages of India had developed a different kind of civilization, which enabled them to know themselves. They had discovered that we are not at all material entities, but that we are all spiritual, permanent, and indestructible servants of the Absolute. But because we have, against our better judgment, chosen to completely identify ourselves with this present material existence, our sufferings have multiplied according to the inexorable law of birth and death, with its consequent diseases and anxieties. These sufferings cannot be really mitigated by any provision of material happiness, because matter and spirit are completely different elements. It is just as if you took an aquatic animal out of water and put it on the land, supplying all manner of happiness possible on land. The deadly sufferings of the animal are not capable of being relieved at all until it is taken out of its foreign environment. Spirit and matter are completely contradictory things. All of us are spiritual entities. We cannot have perfect happiness, which is our birthright, however much we may meddle with the affairs of mundane things. Perfect happiness can be ours only when we are restored to our natural state of spiritual existence. This is the distinctive message of our ancient Indian civilization, this is the message of the Gita, this is the message of the Vedas and the Puranas, and this is the message of all the real acaryas.
Let go of fearful thoughts
If you gathered up all the fearful thoughts that exist in the mind of the average person, looked at them objectively, and tried to decide just how much good they provided that person, you would see that not some but all fearful thoughts are useless. They do no good. Zero. They interfere with dreams, hopes, desires, and progress.
Fearful thoughts take many different forms. Sometimes they sound reasonable: “I’m just being careful, so I’m taking my time.” Other times they are tied to your past: “I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work.” Occasionally, fears are cleverly disguised as being realistic: “Most people fail, so I want to be absolutely sure before I get started.” I could fill page after page with other examples. Yet when you take a close, honest look at every fearful thought, there are threads of similarity. All of them are explanations or rationalizations for why something shouldn’t or can’t work. They are usually justifications for quitting, or for not getting started.
Fearful thoughts hold you back, not some but all of the time.
A critic, especially a fearful one, will look at this advice and say it’s unrealistic, simplistic, and/or foolish. The problem with overcoming these objections is that, on the surface, they sound reasonable. Let me assure you that I’m not suggesting you ignore the facts and take unnecessary and/or foolish risks.
What I’m talking about here are the fears that clearly and directly interfere with your dreams – the fear of rejection, the fear of failure; thoughts like “What will everyone think of me? I might look foolish,” or “I don’t think I can do it, I don’t have the time, or the experience, or the confidence.” These common, ongoing fearful thoughts are the dream snatchers of our own making.
Ask for what you want
It is astonishing what you can accomplish by simply asking for what you want – help, forgiveness, an idea, another chance, a break, or whatever. And not only can you get what you want by asking for it, but often the person you are asking will thank you for taking the initiative.
If it’s so obviously helpful and important to ask for what we want, why do so few of us do it? Once again, the answer is fear. We worry about the outcome. We’re afraid of rejection or a negative response. We might be worried about offending someone or being perceived of as weak, or of taking advantage of our relationship. We may feel we don’t deserve help.
For a multitude of reasons, we allow past negative experiences and/or our own made-up fears to taint our present opportunities.
It’s actually quite arrogant and self-righteous to assume that others aren’t as willing to help. I’m not the only nice guy around. The key in asking for something, large or small, is to be sincere in your beliefs that, deep down, others want to help you. You must approach your request by assuming that the person you are asking is just like you – he or she has an inner longing to be of help to someone.
Once you remove the fear of asking for help, your wisdom and common sense will instruct you when and how to ask.
Be aware of what you do not know and are not good at
My father used to tell me as he read my poorly written essays in school, “It’s not important that you’re not a great speller. It’s really important, however, that you know that you’re not a good speller. That way, when in doubt, you can use the dictionary.”
My dad was absolutely correct, but not just about spelling. The same idea applies to virtually everything. In my work, for example, it’s not critical that I’m an expert editor as long as I know my own weaknesses and limitation. I can hire someone to fill in where I’m weak. Similarly, I’m not a great coordinator for putting together all the details of a public lecture. No problem. I can hire someone who is. It’s always smarter to do this and, in the long run, it’s almost always less expensive and more profitable. The only time there would be a problem is if I didn’t know that I wasn’t good at something or if I was unwilling to admit it.
Chances are you’re probably really good at certain things and really bad at others. So what? Why should you frustrate yourself? This doesn’t mean you can’t learn new skills or improve existing ones. It merely suggests that you spend the bulk of your time doing whatever you are good at and is most important to your success.
It’s easy to get bogged down and defeated doing tasks you aren’t very good at.
Take your breaks regularly
There was a time when I felt that breaks were a waste of time. I assumed that by skipping my breaks unless it was absolutely necessary, I would be able to save a great deal of time and get more done – I would have an edge. I would work through lunch and rarely take breaks throughout the day.
In recent years, I’ve learned that a failure to take regular breaks is an enormous mistake that not only wears you down over time, but actually makes you less productive. While you may not even feel it at the time, slowly but surely your frustrations will sneak up on you. You’ll become less patient and attentive, and your concentration and listening skills will suffer.
I believe that the cumulative effects, over time, are also significant. You’ll burn out much more quickly, and your creativity and insights will slowly fade away.
Your breaks don’t have to be disruptive or last very long. Usually, all you need is a few minutes to clear your head, take some deep breaths, stretch your arms, or get some air. When you take this time – every couple of hours, or so – you’ll return to your work more enthusiastic, focused, and ready to go. It’s almost as though you push a “reset button” and you provide yourself with a fresh start.
I feel that by working a few less minutes each couple of hour and by taking regular mini breaks, I will work smarter, more efficiently and actually get more work accomplished.
Remember to Acknowledge
You can acknowledge others in many ways. When someone calls you, acknowledge the call. When they send you something, remember to say thank you. When someone does a good job, say so. When they apologize, acknowledge that too.
It’s especially important to acknowledge acts of kindness – doing so reinforces the act and encourages more of the same. We all benefit.
Almost everyone loves to be acknowledged. We love to have our phone calls returned, to be told we are doing a great job, to be thanked for working so hard, to have our creativity appreciated.
People remember acknowledgment and they appreciate it. When you need a favor, or advice, the fact that you have previously taken the time to acknowledge someone often comes back to help you. It makes others want to help you and to see you succeed.
Also, people who have been acknowledged genuinely and with love are very forgiving. They will see beyond your mistakes and failures and forgive you freely. Needless to say, all of this makes your life easier and far less stressful.
Think problems as speed bumps
Rather than labeling the issues that come up during a typical work day as problems, think of them as speed bumps (speed breakers). An actual speed bump, as you know, is a low bump in a road designed to get your attention and slow you down. Depending on how you approach and deal with the bump, it can be a miserable, uncomfortable, even damaging experience, or it can simply be a temporary slow down – no big deal.
If you step on the gas, speed up, and tighten the wheel, for example, you’ll hit the bump with a loud thump! Your car may be damaged, you’ll make a great deal of noise, and you can even injure yourself. In addition, you’ll add unnecessary wear and tear to your car, and you’ll look foolish and obnoxious to other people.
If, however, you approach the bump softly and wisely, you’ll be over it in no time. You’ll suffer no adverse effects, and your car will be completely unaffected. Let’s face it. Either way, you’re likely to get over the bump.
Problems can be looked at in a similar light. Depending on how you approach and deal with the problem, it can be a miserable experience, or it can simply be a temporary slowdown – no big deal.
Approach the problems like speed bumps - softly and wisely.
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Ignorance is no excuse
At present everyone is suffering due to ignorance, just as one contracts a disease out of ignorance. If one does not know hygienic principles, he will not know what will contaminate him. Therefore due to ignorance there is infection, and we suffer from disease. A criminal may say, "I did not know the law," but he will not be excused if he commits a crime. Ignorance is no excuse. Similarly, a child, not knowing that fire will burn, will touch the fire. The fire does not think, "This is a child, and he does not know I will burn." No, there is no excuse. Just as there are state laws, there are also stringent laws of nature, and these laws will act despite our ignorance of them. If we do something wrong out of ignorance, we must suffer. This is the law. Whether the law is a state law or a law of nature, we risk suffering if we break it.
The guru's business is to see that no human being suffers in this material world. No one can claim that he is not suffering. That is not possible. In this material world, there are three kinds of suffering. These are miseries arising from the material body and mind, from other living entities, and from the forces of nature.
The guru sees that suffering is due to ignorance, which is compared to darkness. How can one in darkness be saved? By light. The guru takes the torchlight of knowledge and presents it before the living entity enveloped in darkness. That knowledge relieves him from the sufferings of the darkness of ignorance.
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Recognizing an opportunity
When the great library of Alexandria burned, the story goes, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for a few coppers. The book wasn't very interesting, but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed. It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the "Touchstone"!
The touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly like it. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while ordinary pebbles are cold.
So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore, and began testing pebbles.
He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt one that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of them was the touchstone. Yet he went on and on this way. Pick up a pebble. Cold - throw it into the sea. Pick up another. Throw it into the sea.
The days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months. One day, however, about mid-afternoon, he picked up a pebble and it was warm. He threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along, he still threw it away.
So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it's easy to fail to recognize an opportunity when it is in hand and it's just as easy to throw it away.
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Many times we feel as though we are worthless
A well-known speaker started off his public speech in a strange manner – by holding up a Rupee 1000 Note! Holding up the Note high in the air in one of his hands, he addressed the curious audience, "Who would like this Rupee 1000 Note?"
With great cheers almost all of them raised their hands with the shout, "I want it", "I want it”!! He said, "Oh! That’s nice. Well, I am going to give this Note to one of you... But, first let me do this." Then, he crumpled the Note in his hands vigorously & now showed the awkwardly wrinkled 1000 Rupee Note by holding up high in his hand. He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
The same hands went up in the air this time too.
"Well", he replied, "What if I do this?" and he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe like a mad man. It seemed he is deriving great merriment in his unusual act. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. It was so smudgy that no one could recognize it now as a 1000 Rupee Note. "Now who still wants it?" Strangely, now also, all the hands were up in the air with equal cheers & spirit.
Now he addressed his audience with great feeling. "My friends," said he, "You have all learned a very valuable lesson today. No matter what I did to this valuable Rupee Note, all of you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth the same - Rs.1000/-
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt of shame & insult by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come in our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. In the eyes of God, you are the same "most precious jewel of His".
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All of life is in a constant state of change
Everything has beginning and everything has an end. Every tree begins with a seed and will eventually transform back into earth. In our modern world, this means that every car, every machine, every piece of clothing is created and all will wear out and crumble; it’s only a matter of time. Our bodies are born and they will die. A glass is created and will eventually break. All of life is in a constant state of change.
When you expect something to break, you’re not surprised or disappointed when it does. Instead of becoming immobilized when something is destroyed, you feel grateful for the time you have had.
The easier place to start is with the simple things, a glass of water, for example. Pull out your favorite drinking glass. Take a moment to look at and appreciate its beauty and all it does for you. Now, imagine that same glass as already broken, shattered all over the floor.
Obviously, no one wants their favorite drinking glass, or anything else, to be broken. This philosophy is not a prescription for becoming passive or apathetic, but for making peace with the way things are. When your drinking glass does break, this understanding allows you to maintain your perspective. Rather than thinking, “Oh my God,” you’ll find yourself thinking, “Ah, there it goes.”
Lord Krishna instructs in Bhagavad-gita 2.13
As the embodied soul continuously passes, in this body, from boyhood to youth to old age, the soul similarly passes into another body at death. A sober person is not bewildered by such a change.
Make service an integral part or your life
I begin my day by asking myself the question, “How can I be of service to someone?” I have found this to be useful in reminding me of the multitude of ways that I can be helpful to others. When I take the time to ask this question, I find answers popping up all day long.
If one of your goals is to be of help to others, you will find the most appropriate ways. Your chances to be of service are endless. The key, I believe, is to remember that being of service isn’t a one-time effort. It’s not doing something nice for someone and then wondering why others aren’t being nice too, or doing things for us. Instead, a life of service is a lifelong process, a way of thinking about life. Does the trash need to be taken out? If so, go ahead and take it out even if it’s not your turn. Is someone you know being difficult? Maybe they need someone to listen to them.
I have learned that the best way to be of service is often very simple – it’s those little, quite, often unnoticed acts that I can choose on a daily basis.
I know that I have a long way to go toward my goal of becoming a more selfless person. However, I also know that as I have attempted to integrate service into my life, I have felt better and better. There is an ancient saying, “Giving is its own reward.” It’s really true. When you give, you also receive. In fact, what you receive is directly proportional to what you give. Everyone wins, especially you.
Yoga for modern age
The breathing exercise of the yoga system that is generally practiced is just the beginning of the system. Meditation on the Supersoul is just a step forward. Achievement of wonderful material success is also only a step forward. But to attain direct contact with the Supersoul and to take dictation from Him is the highest perfectional stage.
The breathing exercises and meditational practices of yoga are very difficult in this age. They were difficult even five thousand years ago, or else Arjuna would not have rejected the proposal of Krishna. This age of Kali is called a fallen age. At the present moment, people in general are short-living and very slow in understanding self-realization, or spiritual life. They are mostly unfortunate, and as such, if someone is a little bit interested in self-realization, he is misguided by so many frauds.
In the present age, however, if you want success in practical yoga, take to the chanting of Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare, and feel for yourself how you are making progress. Lord Caitanya practically demonstrated Krishna consciousness yoga simply by chanting the holy names of Krishna, as they are mentioned in the Vedanta, the Srimad-Bhagavatam, and many important Puranas.It is very easy and practical for this age, especially for those who are serious about success in yoga. No other process can be successful in this age.
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Look for the extraordinary in the ordinary
Two workers were approached by a reporter. The reporter asked the first worker, “What are you doing?” His response was to complain that he was virtually a slave, an underpaid bricklayer who spent his days wasting his time, placing bricks on top of one another.
The reporter asked the second worker the same question. His response, however, was quite different. “I’m the luckiest person in the world,” he said. “I get to be a part of important and beautiful pieces of architecture. I help turn simple pieces of brick into exquisite masterpieces.”
They were both right.
The truth is, we see in life what we want to see. If you search for ugliness you’ll find plenty of it. If you want to find fault with other people, your service, or the world in general, you’ll certainly be able to do so. But the opposite is also true. If you look for the extraordinary in the ordinary, you can train yourself to see it. This bricklayer sees cathedrals within pieces of brick. The question is, can you?
Each person views the world differently
When someone acts in a way that seems strange to you, rather than reacting in your usual way, such as, “I can’t believe they would do that,” instead say something to yourself like “I see, that must be the way she sees things in her world. Very interesting.”
When you are genuinely curious about the way someone reacts or the way they feel about something, it’s unlikely that you will be annoyed.
When you are interested in other perspectives, it doesn’t imply, even slightly, that you’re advocating it. It just means that there are many perspectives of looking at the same thing.
Each person views the world differently. Each person reacts and feels differently based on their beliefs, paradigms, upbringing, experiences, values etc.
Three last wishes!
Alexander, the great Greek king, after conquering many kingdoms, was returning home. On the way, he fell ill and it took him to his death bed. So, the mighty conqueror lay prostrate and pale, helplessly waiting to breathe his last.
He called his generals and said, "I will depart from this world soon, I have three wishes, please carry them out without fail." With tears flowing down their cheeks, the generals agreed to abide by their king's last wishes. "My first desire is that," said Alexander, "My physicians alone must carry my coffin." After a pause, he continued, "Secondly, I desire that when my coffin is being carried to the grave, the path leading to the graveyard be strewn with gold, silver and precious stones which I have collected in my treasury." The king felt exhausted after saying this. He took a minute's rest and continued. "My third and last wish is that both my hands be kept dangling out of my coffin."
Alexander's favorite general kissed his hand and pressed them to his heart. "O king, we assure you that your wishes will all be fulfilled. But tell us why do you make such strange wishes." At this Alexander took a deep breath and said: "I would like the world to know of the three lessons I have just learnt. I want my physicians to carry my coffin because people should realize that no doctor can really cure any body. They are powerless and cannot save a person from the clutches of death. So let not people take life for granted.
The second wish of strewing gold, silver and other riches on the way to the graveyard is to tell people that not even a fraction of gold will come with me. I spent all my life earning riches but cannot take anything with me. Let people realize that it is a sheer waste of time to chase wealth. And about my third wish of having my hands dangling out of the coffin, I wish people to know that I came empty handed into this world and empty handed I go out of this world." With these words, the king closed his eyes. Soon he let death conquer him and breathed his last.
Change yourself rather than trying to change the world
Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled a prosperous country. One day, he went for a trip to some distant areas of his country. When he came back to his palace, he complained that his feet were very painful, because it was the first time that he went for such a long trip, and the road that he went through was very rough and stony. He then ordered his people to cover every road of the entire country with leather carpet.
Definitely, this would need thousands of cows’ skin, and would cost a huge amount of money. Then one of his wise servants dared himself to tell the king, “Why do you have to spend that unnecessary amount of money? Why don’t you just cut a little piece of leather to cover your feet?”
The king was surprised, but he later agreed to his suggestion, to make a “shoe” for himself.
There is actually a valuable lesson of life in this story: to make this world a happy place to live, you better change yourself - your heart; and not the world.
Spiritual life means joyfulness modified
In the Vedanta-sutra (1.1.12) it is said about the Supreme Absolute Truth, as anandamayo 'bhyasat, by nature joyful. Therefore, as we are part and parcel of God, our aim of life is joy. We are searching after that joyfulness within this material world, but that is not possible. Just like a fish, if it is taken from the water and put on the land, in any condition the fish will never feel joyfulness. Similarly, we are spirit souls. Somehow or other, we have come in contact with this material world. Therefore in this material world we cannot have joyfulness. This material world is not befitting our spiritual self. Spiritual self requires spiritual joy. That is beyond these material senses. Therefore this Krishna consciousness movement is meant for clearing or cleansing or purifying the senses. As soon as we purify our senses, then actually we can enjoy our spiritual sense enjoyment.
Relevant enquiry
As long as a man is in the full vigor of life, he forgets the naked truth of death, which he has to meet. Thus a foolish man makes no relevant inquiry about the real problems of life. Everyone thinks that he will never die, although he sees evidence of death before his eyes at every second. Here is the distinction between animalism and humanity. An animal like a goat has no sense of its impending death. Although its brother goat is being slaughtered, the goat, being allured by the green grass offered to it, will stand peacefully waiting to be slaughtered next. On the other hand, if a human being sees his fellow man being killed by an enemy, he either fights to save his brother or leaves, if possible, to save his own life. That is the difference between a man and a goat.
An intelligent man knows that death is born along with his own birth. He knows that he is dying at every second and that the final touch will be given as soon as his term of life is finished. He therefore prepares himself for the next life or for liberation from the disease of repeated birth and death.
A foolish man, however, does not know that this human form of life is obtained after a series of births and deaths imposed in the past by the laws of nature. He does not know that a living entity is an eternal being, who has no birth and death. Birth, death, old age, and disease are external impositions on a living entity and are due to his contact with material nature and to his forgetfulness of his eternal, godly nature and qualitative oneness with the Absolute Whole.
Human life provides the opportunity to know this eternal fact, or truth. Thus the very beginning of the Vedanta-sutra advises that because we have this valuable form of human life, it is our duty-now-to inquire, What is Brahman, the Absolute Truth?
Drop all negative references to your past
One of the most severely limiting beliefs that many of us have is that the person we were yesterday is the person we have to be today. This belief keeps us tied to our past mistakes, habits, and limitations.
We somehow buy into the notion that if we weren’t successful yesterday, we certainly can’t be successful today or tomorrow.
If you can see how ridiculous and self-defeating this belief is, you can make an instant shift toward success. What prevents us from tapping into this potential is our own mental ties to the past. Letting go of your past is like taking a set of heavy chains from around your neck.
Our past has no power other than the power we give it. One of the most dynamic and significant changes you can make in your life is to make the commitment to drop all negative references to your past, to begin living now. The positive energy you create may shock you. New doors and opportunities will open.
As your past habits creep into your consciousness, simply acknowledge them and let them go. Focus on what you can do today, right now in this moment.
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When people come to you to present their problems …
An executive at a large publishing company was sick and tired of boring and unproductive meetings marked by excessive hand-wringing. He enforced a rule that everyone who wished to present a problem to him first had to submit a memo answering these four questions:
1. What's the problem?
2. What's the cause of the problem?
3. What are all possible solutions to the problem?
4. Which solution do you suggest?
He now rarely has to deal with problems anymore and he doesn't worry about them. He's found that his associates have used the system to find workable solutions without tying up hours in useless meetings.
He estimates that he has eliminated three-fourths of his meeting time and has improved his productivity, health and happiness.
Is he just passing the buck? Of course not! He's paying those folks to do their jobs, and he's giving them great training at decision-making.
Stop worrying too much
Recently I saw a survey that says:
- 40 percent of the things we worry about never happen,
- 30 percent are in the past and can't be helped,
- 12 percent concern the affairs of others
- 10 percent are about sickness--either real or imagined
- 8 percent are worth worrying about.
I would submit that even the 8 percent aren't really worth the energy of worry.
Did you know that the English word worry is derived from an Anglo-Saxon word that means to strangle or to choke? That's easy to believe. People do literally worry themselves to death leading to heart disease, high blood pressure, ulcers, nervous disorders and all sorts of other diseases. Is it worth it?
We just need to find a way to keep it from ruling our lives.
Try this:
- Analyze the situation honestly and figure out what is the worst possible thing that could happen.
- Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst, if necessary.
- Then calmly try to improve upon the worst, which you have already agreed mentally to accept.
- You know what you have to do; it's just a matter of doing it. Without worrying.
The point is, you can't saw sawdust. A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work. People get so busy worrying about yesterday or tomorrow, they forget about today. And today is what you have to work with.
Watering the Root
Actually our position is that we are always rendering service to someone, either to our family, country, or society. If we have no one to serve, sometimes we keep a pet cat or dog and render service to it. All these factors prove that we are constitutionally meant to render service, yet in spite of serving to the best of our ability, we are not satisfied. Nor is the person to whom we are rendering that service satisfied. On the material platform, everyone is frustrated.
The reason for this is that the service being rendered is not properly directed. For example, if we want to render service to a tree, we must water the root. If we pour water on the leaves, branches and twigs, there is little benefit. Similarly if the Supreme Personality of Godhead is served, all other parts and parcels will be automatically satisfied. Consequently all welfare activities as well as service to society, family, and nation are realized by serving the Supreme Personality of Godhead.
It is the duty of every human being to understand his constitutional position with God and to act accordingly. If this is possible, then our lives become successful. Sometimes, however, we feel challenging and say, "There is no God," or "I am God," or even, "I don't care for God." But in actuality this challenging spirit will not save us. God is there, and we can see Him at every moment. If we refuse to see God in our life, then He will be present before us as cruel death. If we do not choose to see Him in one feature, we will see Him in another. There are different features of the Supreme Personality of Godhead because He is the original root of the entire cosmic manifestation. In one sense, it is not possible for us to escape Him.
Become less reactive and more responsive
In life, we have essentially two psychological modes that we are in most of the time: reactive and responsive. The reactive mode is the one that feels stressful. In it, we feel pressured and are quick to judge. We lose perspective and take things personally. We’re annoyed, bothered, and frustrated.
Needless to say, our judgment and decision making capacity is severely impaired when we are in a reactive state of mind. We make quick decisions that we often regret. We annoy other people and tend to bring out the worst in them. When an opportunity knocks, we are usually too overwhelmed or frustrated to see it. If we do see it, we’re usually overly critical and negative.
The responsive mode, on the other hand, is our most relaxed state of mind. Being responsive suggests that we have our bearings. We see the bigger picture and take things less personally. Rather than being rigid and stubborn, we are flexible and calm. In the responsive mode, we are at our best. We bring out the best in others and solve problems gracefully. When an opportunity comes our way, our mind is open. We are receptive to new ideas.
Once you are aware of these two drastically different modes of being. You will begin to notice which one you are in. You’ll also notice the predictability of your behavior and feelings when you are in each mode. You’ll observe yourself being irrational and negative in your reactive mode and calm and wise in your responsive state of mind.
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Take that first step
Every journey, however long it may be, begins with a single step. But you must take that first step. Once you do, each step takes you closer and closer to your goal.
Sometimes, when you consider taking on a new venture – whether it’s writing a book, beginning a new project, or anything else – the task can seem overwhelming. It’s as though you’ll never be able to arrive at your final destination, as if the first step isn’t going to help. When you look too far out toward the horizon, it can seem too difficult. You might even wonder where to begin.
The trick to success sounds very simplistic, because it is very simple: Just begin. Take a single step, followed by another, and then another. Don’t look too far out into the future, and don’t look too far back either. Stay centered in the present moment as best you can. If you follow this simple plan, you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish over time.
Over and over again people plan about the book they are going to write, the project they are going to start, or the charity they are planning to help. But, in many instances, these plans and dreams keep getting put off until “the conditions are right.”
You will agree, in almost all cases, the conditions you are waiting for will not be significantly different next week or next year. Don’t worry that the conditions have to be perfect. The truth is, you are still going to have to take that first step!
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Light a candle instead of cursing the darkness
Instead of complaining about what’s wrong we should take positive, solution-oriented steps (however small) toward improving a situation. It means being more a part of the solution rather than a reminder or reinforcement of the problem.
While we’re working, it’s easy to fall into the trap of spending our time and energy taking note and complaining about the way things are, the economy, negative people, greed, lack of compassion, bureaucracy, and so forth. After all, if we are looking for verification that the world is full of problems, we don’t have to look far to prove our assumptions.
If you take a careful look, you’ll notice that in most cases, thinking excessively about the problems at work, only serves to increase your own level of stress, thus making it even more difficult to do anything about the very things that are bothering you.
As we focus on the problem and discuss it with others, it can reinforce our belief that life is difficult and stressful, which, of course, it can be.
When we focus too much on what’s wrong, it reminds us of other things we disapprove of or wish were different, which can lead us toward feelings of discouragement and being overwhelmed.
It’s interesting, however, to notice that in many instances you cannot only make a dent in a problem, but actually reduce your own stress level in the process by simply choosing to “light a candle.” Simply put, this means making a suggestion or taking a positive step toward improving a source of stress. It means putting increased emphasis on a potential solution and less emphasis on “cursing” the problem.
Dr. Frog Philosophy
There was once a frog who had lived all his life in a well. One day a friend visited him and informed him of the existence of the Atlantic Ocean.
"Oh, what is this Atlantic Ocean?" asked the frog in the well.
"It is a vast body of water," his friend replied.
"How vast? Is it double the size of this well?"
"Oh, no, much larger," his friend replied.
"How much larger? Ten times the size?"
In this way the frog went on calculating. But what was the possibility of his ever understanding the depths and far reaches of the great ocean?
Our faculties, experience, and powers of speculation are always limited. The frog was always thinking in terms relative to his well. He had no power to think otherwise.
Similarly, the scientists are estimating the Absolute Truth, the cause of all causes, with their imperfect senses and minds, and thus they are bound to be bewildered. The essential fault of the so-called scientists is that they have adopted the inductive process to arrive at their conclusions. For example, if a scientist wants to determine whether or not man is mortal by the inductive process, he must study every man to try to discover if some or one of them may be immortal. The scientist says, "I cannot accept the proposition that all men are mortal. There may be some men who are immortal. I have not yet seen every man. Therefore how can I accept that man is mortal?" This is called the inductive process. He may study thousand, two thousand, five thousand, but he cannot study all the men. Therefore his conclusion remains always defective.
And the deductive process means you take the idea from superior person that man is mortal. Your father, your teacher, or your guru says that man is mortal, and you accept it.
If you accept, then your knowledge is perfect.
Therefore inductive process is not always perfect. The deductive process, from the authority, the knowledge received, is always perfect.
How we feel depends a lot upon …
How we feel depends a lot upon what aspects of life we focus on and how we characterize our experience. In other words, when we describe our day, we might feel very justified in saying, “Oh God, it was awful. I was stuck in horrible traffic with millions of other angry people. I spent my day in boring meeting, always scrambling a few minutes behind. There were arguments and almost constant conflict to deal with!”
The identical day might be thought of differently. You might describe it like this: “I drove to work and spent much of my day meeting with people. It was a challenge, but I did my best to stay as long as possible at one meeting without being late for the next one. The art of my work is bringing together people who, on the surface, don’t seem to be able to get along very well. It’s a good thing I’m there to help.”
Can you feel the difference? And it’s not a matter of one description being “realistic and accurate” and the other being wishful thinking. The truth is, both are absolutely accurate. It all depends on the well-being of the person doing the thinking.
You can create a more interesting life, by re-characterizing your day and your responsibilities in a healthier way. As your mind is focused in a more positive direction, and as you’re looking for the gifts of your day instead of the hassles, you’ll begin to notice aspects of your life that may have been invisible to you. You’ll actually see things differently. Everywhere you look, you’ll see opportunities for personal and spiritual growth. You’ll see more solutions and fewer problems, as well as plenty of ways to enhance and maximize your experience.
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Become less “controlling”
“Controlling” refers to unhealthy attempts to manipulate the behavior of others, having the need to control your environment, and becoming defensive or anxious when other people don’t behave to your specifications – the way you think they should be.
To be controlling means you are preoccupied with the actions of others and how those actions affect you.
“Controlling” is highly stressful – both to the controller and to those who are being controlled. A person who is controlling carries with him a great deal of stress because; occasionally we can influence another person, but can’t force him to be a certain way. To someone who is controlling, this is highly frustrating.
What hurts the controlling person is what goes on inside ---- his feelings and emotions. The key element seems to be a lack of willingness to allow other people to fully be themselves, to give them space to be who they are, and to respect – really respect – the fact that people think differently. Deep down, a controlling person doesn’t want other people to be themselves, but rather the image of who they want them to be. But people aren’t an image of who we want them to be – they are who they are.
The only way to become less controlling is to see the advantages of doing so. When you can make allowances in your mind for the fact that other people see life differently than you do, you’ll experience far less internal struggle.
In addition, as you become less controlling, you’ll be a lot easier to be around. You can probably guess that most people don’t like to be controlled. It’s turnoff. It creates resentment and adversarial relationships. As you let go of your need to be so controlling, people will be more inclined to help you; they will want to see you succeed. When people feel accepted for who they are rather than judged for who you think they should be, they will admire and respect you like never before.
Mistake is not a mistake if we learn from the experience
It is so easy to beat yourself up over mistakes you've made. Many amongst us live in the past rather than loving the present and building a brilliant future. Some people stay stuck for years over something they did or a failure they've experienced. A life is a terrible thing to waste.
But let me ask you a question: "Is there really such a thing as a mistake?" First of all, no one tries to fail or mess things up. Every one of us wake up in the morning, walk out into the world and do the best we can do based on what we know and the skills we have. But even more importantly, every so-called "mistake' is actually a rich source of learning. A mistake is an opportunity to build more awareness and understanding and gain precious experience. This experience will help us do, feel and be even better.
Mistake is not a mistake if we learn from the experience and grow with it. Just maybe what we could call failures are actually growth lessons in wolf's clothing. And just maybe the person who experiences the most wins.
When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect…
A teacher teaching Maths to seven-year-old Arnav asked him, "If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?" Within seconds Arnav replied confidently, "Four!"
The dismayed teacher was expecting an effortless correct answer (three). She was disappointed. "Maybe the child did not listen properly," she thought. She repeated, "Arnav, listen carefully. If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"
Arnav had seen the disappointment on his teacher's face. He calculated again on his fingers. His search for the answer was not for the correct one, but the one that will make his teacher happy. This time hesitatingly he replied, "Four…"
The disappointment stayed on the teacher's face. She remembered that Arnav liked strawberries. She thought maybe he doesn't like apples and that is making him lose focus. This time with an exaggerated excitement and twinkling in her eyes she asked, "If I give you one strawberry and one strawberry and one strawberry, then how many you will have?"
Seeing the teacher happy, young Arnav calculated on his fingers again. There was no pressure on him, but a little on the teacher. She wanted her new approach to succeed. With a hesitating smile young Arnav enquired, "Three?"
The teacher now had a victorious smile. Her approach had succeeded. Once again she asked him, "Now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple how many will you have?" Promptly Arnav answered, "Four!"
The teacher was aghast. "How Arnav, how?" she demanded in a little stern and irritated voice.
In a voice that was low and hesitating, young Arnav replied, "Because I already have one apple in my bag."
"When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect. Don't think they are wrong. There maybe an angle that you have not understood at all. You will have to listen and understand, but never listen with a predetermined notion."
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If the Supreme Lord does not give protection…
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.
A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
Srimad-Bhagavatam 7th Canto explains:
If the Supreme Personality of Godhead protects one, even though one be motherless and fatherless, one can be maintained by the good will of the Lord. Otherwise, if the Supreme Lord does not give one protection, one must suffer in spite of the presence of his father and mother.
Sometimes one loses his money on a public street, where everyone can see it, and yet his money is protected by destiny and not seen by others. Thus the man who lost it gets it back. On the other hand, if the Lord does not give protection, even money maintained very securely at home is lost.
If the Supreme Lord gives one protection, even though one has no protector and is in the jungle, one remains alive, whereas a person well protected at home by relatives and others sometimes dies, no one being able to protect him.
Ask for what you want
It is astonishing what you can accomplish by simply asking for what you want – help, forgiveness, an idea, another chance, a break, or whatever. And not only can you get what you want by asking for it, but often the person you are asking will thank you for taking the initiative.
If it’s so obviously helpful and important to ask for what we want, why do so few of us do it? Once again, the answer is fear. We worry about the outcome. We’re afraid of rejection or a negative response. We might be worried about offending someone or being perceived of as weak, or of taking advantage of our relationship. We may feel we don’t deserve help.
For a multitude of reasons, we allow past negative experiences and/or our own made-up fears to taint our present opportunities.
It’s actually quite arrogant and self-righteous to assume that others aren’t as willing to help. I’m not the only nice guy around. The key in asking for something, large or small, is to be sincere in your beliefs that, deep down, others want to help you. You must approach your request by assuming that the person you are asking is just like you – he or she has an inner longing to be of help to someone.
Once you remove the fear of asking for help, your wisdom and common sense will instruct you when and how to ask.
Let go of fearful thoughts
If you gathered up all the fearful thoughts that exist in the mind of the average person, looked at them objectively, and tried to decide just how much good they provided that person, you would see that not some but all fearful thoughts are useless. They do no good. Zero. They interfere with dreams, hopes, desires, and progress.
Fearful thoughts take many different forms. Sometimes they sound reasonable: “I’m just being careful, so I’m taking my time.” Other times they are tied to your past: “I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work.” Occasionally, fears are cleverly disguised as being realistic: “Most people fail, so I want to be absolutely sure before I get started.” I could fill page after page with other examples. Yet when you take a close, honest look at every fearful thought, there are threads of similarity. All of them are explanations or rationalizations for why something shouldn’t or can’t work. They are usually justifications for quitting, or for not getting started.
Fearful thoughts hold you back, not some but all of the time.
A critic, especially a fearful one, will look at this advice and say it’s unrealistic, simplistic, and/or foolish. The problem with overcoming these objections is that, on the surface, they sound reasonable. Let me assure you that I’m not suggesting you ignore the facts and take unnecessary and/or foolish risks.
What I’m talking about here are the fears that clearly and directly interfere with your dreams – the fear of rejection, the fear of failure; thoughts like “What will everyone think of me? I might look foolish,” or “I don’t think I can do it, I don’t have the time, or the experience, or the confidence.” These common, ongoing fearful thoughts are the dream snatchers of our own making.
Learning from our glorious past
We are all more or less proud of our past Indian civilization, but we actually do not know the real nature of that civilization. We cannot be proud of our past material civilization, which is now a thousand times greater than in days gone by. It is said that we are passing through the age of darkness, the Kali-yuga. What is this darkness? The darkness cannot be due to backwardness in material knowledge, because we now have more of it than formerly. If not we ourselves, our neighbors, at any rate, have plenty of it. Therefore, we must conclude that the darkness of the present age is not due to a lack of material advancement, but that we have lost the clue to our spiritual advancement, which is the prime necessity of human life and the criterion of the highest type of human civilization.
Throwing of bombs from airplanes is no advancement of civilization from the primitive, uncivilized practice of dropping big stones on the heads of enemies from the tops of hills. Improvement of the art of killing our neighbors by means of machine guns and poisonous gases is certainly no advancement from primitive barbarism, which prided itself on its art of killing by bows and arrows. Nor does the development of a sense of pampered selfishness prove anything more than intellectual animalism. True human civilization is very different from all these states, and therefore in the Katha Upanishad there is the emphatic call "Please wake up and try to understand the boon that you now have in this human form of life. The path of spiritual realization is very difficult; it is sharp like a razor's edge. That is the opinion of learned transcendental scholars."
Thus, while others were yet in the womb of historical oblivion, the sages of India had developed a different kind of civilization, which enabled them to know themselves. They had discovered that we are not at all material entities, but that we are all spiritual, permanent, and indestructible servants of the Absolute. But because we have, against our better judgment, chosen to completely identify ourselves with this present material existence, our sufferings have multiplied according to the inexorable law of birth and death, with its consequent diseases and anxieties. These sufferings cannot be really mitigated by any provision of material happiness, because matter and spirit are completely different elements. It is just as if you took an aquatic animal out of water and put it on the land, supplying all manner of happiness possible on land. The deadly sufferings of the animal are not capable of being relieved at all until it is taken out of its foreign environment. Spirit and matter are completely contradictory things. All of us are spiritual entities. We cannot have perfect happiness, which is our birthright, however much we may meddle with the affairs of mundane things. Perfect happiness can be ours only when we are restored to our natural state of spiritual existence. This is the distinctive message of our ancient Indian civilization, this is the message of the Gita, this is the message of the Vedas and the Puranas, and this is the message of all the real acaryas.
Do not panic unnecessarily
People panic about practically everything—missed deadlines, orders not received, comments by others, fear of mistakes, negative trends. You name it and someone has panicked about it. Yet I’ve never seen even a single instance where the panic actually helped to solve the problem. Instead, panic is neutral at best and greatly interferes at worst. Panic tends to bring out the worst in everyone. It makes others (and you) feel tense and fearful. It increases the likelihood of mistakes, missed opportunities and miscommunications.
Nothing interferes with the creation of success and abundance like panic. When you make the commitment to stop panicking, you’ll notice some incredible things happening. First, you’ll notice that a vast majority of what you are most worried about will never happen, or it won’t be as bad as you first thought. It was Benjamin Franklin who said, “Some terrible things happened in my lifetime – a few of which actually happened.”
By avoiding the panic, you won’t waste time, anxiety, and energy trying to solve what probably doesn’t need solving. Second, when you learn to keep your bearings, your wisdom will come forth. In the absence of worry, answers will emerge. Instead of a head full of concerns, you’ll create a head full of solutions. Finally, when you stay calm, you really do bring out the best in others. Many people react to the feelings of others. If you can maintain your bearings, chances are the people you work with will, too.
To bring forth your greatest potential, eliminate panic altogether from your thinking..
Don’t worry if you do not have some facility
A jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. 'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.
The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'. 'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email that means you don’t exist. And who doesn't exist, can’t have the job.'
The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.
The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go every day earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US. He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.
He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email. The man replied, ‘I don't have an email.'
The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been If you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'
If you want to stop crime...
The difference between a pious man and a criminal is that one is pure in heart and the other is dirty. This dirt is like a disease in the form of uncontrollable lust and greed in the heart of the criminal. Today people in general are in this diseased condition, and thus crime is very widespread. When the people become purified of these dirty things, crime will disappear.
The simplest process of purification is to assemble in congregation and chant the holy names of God. This is called sankirtana and is the basis of our Krishna consciousness movement. So, if you want to stop crime, then you must gather as many people as possible for mass sankirtana. This congregational chanting of the holy name of God will dissipate all the dirty things in everyone's heart. Then there will be no more crime.
Who is Bhagavan? Bhagavan means one who is fully equipped with six opulences. Krishna is accepted by the authorities as Bhagavan, or the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Bhagavan is the richest personality. We are proud of possessing a few acres of land, and Bhagavan means who is the proprietor of the whole universe. Therefore He is considered the richest. Similarly, He is considered the strongest. And similarly, He is considered the wisest. And similarly, He is the most beautiful personality. In this way, when you find a person the richest, the strongest, the most beautiful, the most wise -- He is Bhagavan, or God. When Krishna was present on this planet He proved all these opulences possessed by Him.
You catch more flies with honey
When I see someone acting aggressively or intimidating someone, pushing their weight around, or being manipulative, I feel like reminding them that, in the long run, you really do catch more flies with honey. Simply put, it pays to be nice! Sure, there are times when being pushy or aggressive will assist you in getting your way – you can scare away, intimidate certain people some of the time. But I believe that this type of aggressive attitude and behavior almost comes back to haunt you.
When you are kind, loving, and patient – when you are fair, a good listener, and when you genuinely care about others – your attitude comes across in all you do. As a result, people love to be around you and will be comfortable and trusting in your presence. They side with you, share their secrets of success, and want to assist you in any way they can. Very simply, they delight in your success.
When you are gentle, people are drawn to you like “flies to honey.” They forgive you easily when you make a mistake and are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. When they talk about you behind your back, their comments will be positive and upbeat. You will have a notable reputation.
It’s unfortunate, but the opposite is also true. When you’re difficult or demanding, your positive qualities are often overlooked, disregarded, or forgotten. In addition, you create a great deal of stress for yourself with an adversarial, aggressive attitude. You’ll be looking over your shoulder wondering who, if anyone is on your side. When you’re pushy, you actually push people away. But when you’re gentle and kind, people are drawn to your energy and sincerity.
Never ever backstab
There are many good reasons why we should never backstab. First of all, it sounds terrible and makes us look really bad. When I hear someone slamming someone behind his back, it says nothing about the person they are referring to, but it does say a great deal about the person who is backstabbing. To me, someone who slams a person behind his back is hypocritical or two-faced.
A person in a habit of backstabbing will put on a smile and say nice things to people but, behind their backs, he would act in a completely different way. To me that’s not fair play.
But aside from being a mean-spirited and unfair thing to do, backstabbing creates other problems as well. It causes stress, anxiety, and other negative feelings.
How does it feel to say nasty, offensive, and negative things about someone else who isn’t even there to defend themselves? Obviously, answer is so obvious that it’s almost embarrassing to discuss. I know that when I have backstabbed in the past, my words have left me with an uncomfortable feeling. I remember asking myself the question, “How could you stoop so low?” You simply can’t win this way.
Finally, it’s absolutely predictable that if you backstab someone, you will lose the respect and trust of the people you are sharing with. Remember, most of the people you’re sharing with are your friends or colleagues. It’s important to realize that, even if they appear to enjoy what you are saying, and even if they too are participating in the gossip, there will always be a part of them that knows that you are capable of backstabbing. They’ve seen it firsthand. It’s inevitable that they will ask themselves the question, “If he will talk behind someone else’s back, wouldn’t he be capable of doing the same thing to me? What’s more, they know that the answer is ‘YES’.
Avoid the phrase: I have to go to work
This article has to do with six of the most common words in the English language: “I have to go to work.”
In all probability, it’s absolutely true that you do “have to” got to work. Nevertheless, these particular words carry with them some really negative baggage that, I believe, is self-destructive.
Other than your thoughts, your words are your primary entry point into your experience. When you “have” to do something, it implies that it’s not a choice – that you would rather be somewhere else, doing something different. This, in turn, implies that your heart isn’t fully into what you are doing, which makes living up to your potential extremely difficult and enjoying your experience near impossible.
So, when you say, “I have to go to work,” you are in a subtle way setting yourself up for a bad day. This doesn’t mean you’ll always have a bad day – but it certainly increases the likelihood.
Beyond that, however, there is a more subtle negative message you send to yourself and to others. It seems that deep down, what you’re really saying is, “I don’t like my work. I’m not capable of choosing work that I enjoy.” What a horrible message to say to yourself (or to someone else) about something you spend most of your time doing! Think about it. If you really loved your work, why would you be saying, “I have to go to work? Do you ever say, “I have to start my weekend now”?
Illusioned courage
When rabbits are being attacked by bigger animals, they close their eyes and think, "I am not going to be killed." But they are killed anyway. Similarly, we may deny the existence of God and the law of God, but still God and His law are there. In the high-court you may say, "I don't care for the law of the government," but you will be forced to accept the government law. If you deny the state law, then you will be put into prison and be caused to suffer. Similarly, you may foolishly decry the existence of God—"There is no God" or "I am God"—but nevertheless you are responsible for all your actions, both good and bad.
There are two kinds of activities—good and bad. If you act nicely and perform pious activities, then you get good fortune, and if you act sinfully, then you have to suffer.
Human life is the opportunity to know the eternal fact or truth of life and as such the Vedanta Sutra advises in the very beginning of the book that because we have got this valuable form of human life it is our duty to enquire, now, what is Brahman or the Absolute Truth.
A man who is not intelligent enough does not enquire about this transcendental life but he enquires on many irrelevant matters which does not concern to his eternal existence of life. From the very beginning of his life he enquires from his mother, father, teacher, professors, books and so many other sources but he has no right type of informations about his real life. This type of human civilization is a risky one because there is no education in the matter of relevant enquiries in the principles of life.--------
Express your gratitude toward others
The people we remember to thank, in person, with a thoughtful note or gesture, or a phone call, are infinitely more likely to help us again than those we take for granted or neglect to thank. It’s so obvious, yet so few people really understand how this works.
People love to be acknowledged, admired, and thanked. People love to be thanked, not out of any selfish need but simply because it feels good to be acknowledged. And when we are sincerely acknowledged, the acknowledgment acts as reinforcement that we have done the right thing. Thus, we want to do it again.
The next time you do something really nice or helpful for someone and they thank you, take note of how it makes you feel.
It’s true that there are many instances where you would help someone again without expecting any thanks. However, you’ll find yourself even more willing to help someone who expresses their gratitude and acknowledged your help.
By engaging in constant gratitude, you’ll be guaranteeing success, happiness and better relationships. Handling setbacks & failures
The question isn’t whether or not we will have setback, disappointments, and failures in life – we will. Rather, the question is, how will we deal with them? Will we become upset, immobilized, frustrated, and hopeless or will we take a more positive approach and depend on Lord in such situations?
In other words, setbacks and failures can seem significant, even insurmountable in the moment. Yet, once we get through them, we look back at them as a necessary, even important part of our success. A number of people have told me that some major failures were the best thing that ever happened to them. Sure, it was painful while it was happening, but it woke them up and taught them some important lessons in life.
Few people are successful immediately, never rejected, perfectly placed the first time around. It’s usually just the opposite --- trial & error, rejection, setbacks, failures, & so forth.
If you are defeated over and over again, you can focus on the fact that things aren’t working out, beat yourself up mentally, and feel hopeless – or you can learn from your mistakes, improve your skills, let go of the past, and move on.
All the frustration in the world isn’t going to change what has already happened – so why make a big issue out of it?
The trick, I believe, is being able to use not only our past setbacks, but the current ones as well, to help us grow and move on. In other words, when something doesn’t work out well, rather than dwelling on it and feeling badly, we let it go, see what we can learn, make any necessary adjustments, and move forward.
Learning to stop making a big issue of our setbacks is a powerful way to live a better life. Without the ongoing nagging and heaviness of self-directed criticism and worrisome thoughts, we free up energy to be creative, hardworking, and successful.
Cure for modern jaundice
If a man is suffering from jaundice and you give him a piece of sugar candy, he will say that it is very bitter. But is sugar candy bitter? No, it is very sweet. And the medicine for jaundice is that sugar. Modern science prescribes this, and it is prescribed in the Vedic literature also. So if we take a great quantity of this sugar candy, then we will be relieved from jaundice. And when there is relief, then one says, "Oh, this is very sweet." So the modern jaundice of a godless civilization can be cured by this chanting of Hare Krishna. In the beginning it may appear bitter, but when one advances, then he will see how pleasing it is.
We are so full of miseries because we have identified ourselves with the material world. Therefore we are unhappy. Anxieties and fearfulness are due to our misidentifying with the material world. As soon as one understands his identity, his relationship with God, then immediately he becomes happy.
Avoid the trap of reaction spirals
It’s a rare person who can avoid the trap of reaction spirals. This is the dangerous tendency to overreact to something – and then compound the problem by over analyzing it. Here is a typical example: someone criticizes some aspect of your work. You overreact to the criticism and become defensive. Then you spend the next half hour analyzing the critical comments, convincing yourself they are incorrect. A whirlwind of thoughts passes through your mind. You focus on the criticism. The more you do, the worse you feel, and the more tired you become.
The truth is, in a negative state of mind, we expend unnecessary energy, make very poor decisions, and lose our creativity and sense of joy. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could nip these reaction spirals in the bud?
You can! The trick is to see them coming and to commit, in advance, to “short circuiting” them. With every negative reaction comes a negative feeling – a feeling of irritation, annoyance, or impatience. We often use these feelings to justify further negativity. For example, we say to ourselves something like, “I have a right to be angry.” Now that we’re focused on our anger, we think about other instances that make us angry, and so on. This fuels our negative feelings and creates a negative spiral.
If, instead of compounding our negative feelings, we used them as a signal to alert us to potential trouble, we would be in a much better position to stop the cycle before it got out of hand.
True Religion
At the present moment, no one actually knows the meaning of religion. Religion means to abide by the laws of God, just as good citizenship means to abide by the laws of the government. Because no one has any understanding of God, no one knows the laws of God or the meaning of religion. This is the present status of people in today's society. They are forgetting religion, taking it to be a kind of faith. Faith may be blind faith. Faith is not the real description of religion. Religion means the laws given by God, and anyone who follows those laws is religious, whether a Christian, a Hindu, or a Muslim.
The religious system might have been misused, but that does not mean that religion should be avoided. Real religion should be taken. It does not mean that because religion has not been properly executed by the so-called priests, religion should be rejected. If my eye is giving me some trouble on account of a cataract, it does not mean that the eye should be plucked out. The cataract should be removed. That is Krishna consciousness.
Never ever let success go to your head!
There’s an alarming trend taking place: People who have had some degree of good fortune and success tend to lose their humility and become at least slightly arrogant. This is very unfortunate for many reasons. First, and most obviously, no one really wants to be around someone who is arrogant. It’s boring, and it’s annoying! Arrogance implies a lack of gratitude. The assumption is, “I did this all by myself; it’s all about me.” Factors such as Lord’s blessings, good fortune, and so on are forgotten or disregarded.
In addition, when you allow success to go to your head, your stress levels skyrocket and your quality of life gradually disappears. People will stop liking you, and eventually, you’ll stop liking yourself.
Friendships slip away; obsessive busyness and a lack of time take over. Someone who was happy and relatively easy to please is now impossible to satisfy.
I’ve read articles about celebrities, athletes, and business people who have done really well – their talent, timing, hard work, luck, and all the rest of it kicked in at just the right time. Yet, rather than being grateful and keeping a sense of perspective, they think that they are somehow better or more important than others simply because they’re good at something and have enjoyed some success.
Never ever let success go to your head!
Change what you can & accept the things you can't
There is prayer that says: “Lord, grant me the strength to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
In life there are things we must deal with. There are things we can change, that we have some power to control. There are other things that are absolutely beyond our control. Yet how often do we spend our time and energy doing absolutely nothing about the things we do have some control over, while whining and complaining about those things we can’t do anything about? Often, because we have our priorities twisted in the wrong direction, we end up chasing our tails and wasting time. Once we change gears, and focus only on those things that we have some capacity to control, it’s easy to get back on track.
It’s tempting to focus on aspects of life that are beyond our control. How often do you hear people complaining about taxes? While no one likes to pay taxes, and certainly no one should pay any more than he or she is legally required to pay, there is a great deal of wisdom in spending your time creating more wealth rather than complaining about taxes.
Go ahead and lobby for lower taxes if you must. Voice your opinion if you choose to do so. But once you have done what you can do, let go of it. Know when to quit. Expend your energy doing what you can do – focus on creation, creativity, positive ideas, and solutions. Stop complaining about taxes; focus, instead, on making so much money that taxes will seem irrelevant!
Perfection of Life
When one goes to prison he has to put aside his usual dress and take the prison dress. Similarly, anyone who comes into this material world has to take a material body. This is the law. Unless you have this material body, how can you feel pleasure in material sense enjoyment? It is just like performing on stage: if you are going to play a certain part, you have to dress accordingly. Therefore, this material body is compared to a dress. For example, every lady and gentleman; every one of us; has a different dress.
But our dress is superficial. As human beings we are one. Similarly, each one of us has a different bodily dress, but spiritually we are one. And this is true of all living entities: they are in different bodily dresses only.
The dresses are calculated to total 8,400,000 different forms. In the water there are 900,000 different dresses, and there are 2,000,000 different types of trees and plants. There are 1,100,000 species of insects, 1,000,000 types of birds, 3,000,000 types of beasts, and 400,000 forms of human beings. In this way, the living entity is passing through different dresses.
And the best dress is this human form, because in this dress you can understand what God is, what you are, and what your relationship with God is. Then you can act in that relationship and go back home, back to Godhead. In this human form of dress you have developed consciousness.
But if you miss this opportunity to understand God, then again you will be put into the cycle of the evolutionary process. We should not, therefore, misuse this human form. We should utilize it properly to understand the unlimited God and our relationship with Him, and to act on this knowledge. That is the perfection of life.
Stop Anticipating Tiredness
I overheard two men speaking. It was as if each person was trying to convince the other, and perhaps themselves, how many hours and how hard they were working, how few hours of sleep they were going to get, and, most of all, how tired they were going to be. I wasn’t quite sure if they were bragging or complaining, but one thing was certain, they were appearing more and more tired the longer the conversation continued.
The problem with anticipating tiredness in this way, or in any way, is that it clearly reinforces the tiredness. It rivets your attention to the number of hours you are sleeping and how tired you are going to be. Then, when you wake up, you are likely to do it again by reminding yourself how few hours it has been since your head hit the pillow. Who knows what really happens, but seems to me that anticipating tiredness must send a message to your brain reminding you to feel and act tired because that is the way you have programmed yourself to respond.
Clearly, everyone needs a certain degree of rest. I’ve read a few articles suggesting that many, if not most, of us don’t get enough sleep. And if you’re tired, the best possible solution would probably be to try to get more sleep. But in those instances when it’s not possible to do so, the worst thing you can do, in my estimation, is to convince yourself, in advance, that you are going to be exhausted.
I’ve noticed this habit of anticipating tiredness creep into the conversations of many people. If you are someone who does this, see if you can avoid the tendency as much as possible. If you do, you may find yourself feeling less tired.
Peace formula
The great mistake of modern civilization is to encroach upon others' property as though it were one's own and to thereby create an unnecessary disturbance of the laws of nature. These laws are very strong. No living entity can violate them. As a state is protected by the department of law and order, so the state of Universe, of which this earth is only an insignificant fragment, is protected by the laws of nature.
This material nature is one of the different potencies of God, who is the ultimate proprietor of everything that be. This earth is, therefore, the property of God, but we, the living entities, especially the so-called civilized human beings, are claiming God's property as our own, under both an individual and collective false conception. If you want peace, you have to remove this false conception from your mind and from the world. This false claim of proprietorship by the human race on earth is partly or wholly the cause of all disturbances of peace on earth.
In the Bhagavad-gita Lord Krishna says that He is the factual enjoyer of all activities of the living entities, that He is the Supreme Lord of all universes, and that He is the well-wishing friend of all beings. When the people of the world know this as the formula for peace, it is then and there that peace will prevail.
Create from the inside out
You can work long and hard, be creative, clever, talented, and insightful – but if you fail to understand the importance of your own thoughts in the process of creation, it will all be for naught.
One very important factor of success, abundance, and the creation of prosperity comes from within yourself – your thoughts. A particular train of thought persisted in, be it good or bad, cannot fail to produce its results on the character and circumstances. A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but he can choose his thoughts, and so indirectly, yet surely, shape his circumstances.
If you could look into the minds of successful men and women you would discover a wealth of positive energy – thoughts of success and abundance, and a complete lack of doubt.
A wise man said: “Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life.”
I’ve known many successful people in many different fields. Although they have vastly different talents, temperaments, skills, work ethics, and backgrounds, they all have one thing in common: their success originates in the mind and translates into the material world. It doesn’t work the other way around, as so many seem to believe. Successful people know that the one aspect of life that they do have control over is their own thinking. All of us have this same advantage, so let’s all start there!
Center of Love
If you throw a stone into the middle of a pool of water, a circle will expand to the limit of the bank. Similarly, radio waves expand in a circle, and when you capture the waves with your radio you can hear the message. In the same way, our loving feeling can also expand.
At the beginning of our life, we simply want to eat. Whatever a small child grabs, he wants to eat. He has only personal interest. Then, when the child grows a little, he tries to participate with his brothers and sisters: "All right. You also take a little." This is an increase in the feeling of fellowship. Then, as he grows up, he begins to feel some love for his parents, then for his community, then for his country, and at last for all nations. But unless the center is right, that expansion of feeling—even if it is national or international—is not perfect.
So the center of our national feeling or our international feeling is not fixed on the proper object. If the center is right, then you can draw any number of circles around that center and they'll never overlap. They'll simply keep growing, growing, growing. They'll not intersect with one another if the center is all right. Unfortunately, although everyone is feeling nationally or internationally, the center is missing. Therefore your international feeling and my international feeling, your national feeling and my national feeling, are overlapping and conflicting. So we have to find the proper center for our loving feelings. Then you can expand your circle of feelings and it will not overlap or conflict with others'.
That center is Krishna.
